I awakened today to a phone call from Debbie, the daughter of one of my oldest, dearest friends, Lee, informing me that her mother had died. Lee, who was was days away from her 85th birthday, lived with the spirit and gusto of one at least twenty years younger.
Some might say, She was blessed to live 85 years, a good thing. Yes, she was blessed and it was a good thing. But, selfishly, I knew she loved me and I knew how much my love for her meant to her. What I knew for sure was that I could no longer meet her for lunch, something we did very infrequently – because I knew she was always there and we would always be able to make it happen. But that is not so anymore.
I can't hug her, hear her voice, or explain to her why I did not get back to her when she worried that something terrible had happened to me because she was unable to reach me. This time, it was Lee who had something "terrible" happen to her. My grief is deep , my heart is heavy and I feel alone, though I have such a beautiful husband and family to support and sustain me.
I immediately felt Debbie's pain and that of her family. I know their hearts are broken and that they are devastated. I also felt a deep sense of personal disappointment that Lee would not be physically present to see our son, David, who had been her Montessori student for three years, be married in just a few weeks. What contributed to my sadness was the realization that David would never have that special reunion with his first school teacher who had lovingly kept him in her heart.
Lee's spirit is vital, filled with compassion, humor, joy and love. Everyone will miss her, of this, I am sure. I ache for her precious Chester, her golden doodle and her beloved companion. I know Chester is confused, hurting and dearly missing Lee, though he is protected and safe as he now shares his life with Debbie, her husband and their dogs. Yet, I feel his pain for his "mom." I know how deeply animals grieve their loved ones.
After hanging up from Debbie, the tears just kept coming, until I could hardly breathe. My heart ached and felt as though it had been broken into smithereens. I began having flashbacks of all the others in my life that had died relatively recently, including my parents, other friends and my patients with whom I had worked for many years.
I have always known that with each present loss we experience, the vibration of our pain causes our cells to reverberate with similar vibrations of multiple past losses. Somehow feeling the pain we felt in the past paradoxically hurts and soothes us in the present moment. It reminds us of how heartbroken we were and that we had wondered how we would ever be able to go on. It also reminds us that, somehow, we did survive. All of this rose up for me as I released my pain and felt my sorrow.
What kept coming to mind was how much she had loved and cared about me, and how fortunate I had been to have her in my life all these years. But saying goodbye is neither acceptable nor easy. How grateful I was that we had our lunch together just weeks ago. We had never had such a long lunch – three hours – and it went so quickly! We probably would have kept going if the restaurant had not emptied out while we were chatting, leaving us feeling a bit conspicuous.
I found it comforting to learn that Lee died in her safe room, upstairs in her home, with her Chester by her side, surrounded by photos of her family and her husband, Walter, who had died many years before. And while I knew that her Guardian Angel was with her to lovingly guide her on her journey and that she would be assisted, as well, by Walter and loved ones, I felt sad that no one was there to hold her hand or give her a hug. Yet, I felt that her God was good to her in that she died in a place she loved and that her death was quick. She was not one to ever wish to be a burden to anyone else. She died as she lived – with her dignity in place. I knew this was a good thing.
I know, too, that as I write this, she is aware of everything I have been thinking and writing, and she is listening to the vibrations of my heart. She is Love and I know she will always be available to me. I will always smile – my heart will always smile – whenever I think of this beautiful, delicious, leprechaun-like soul who loved life, loved humanity and always made you feel you were special. What an amazing role model she has been for those of us who loved, admired and have been inspired by her!
Lee, I know your love and spirit will be with me through eternity. I love you, dear, sweet Lee, more than I can possibly ever express in words.
For those of you who are reading this and presently experiencing the challenge of loss, my heart goes out to you. May you balance your pain with light and joy, enabling you to find peace and healing.
Love & Healing,
©2013 Susan Barbara Apollon
Susan Apollon says that "Miracles do not happen by coincidence-we are designed for them". Here's what you can do to invite those moments of divine magnitude into your life.
Albert Einstein once said of miracles: "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Intuitive psychologist and author Susan Apollon agrees, and has spent more than two decades backing up this hypothesis by studying the nature of miracles and the conditions under which they occur. Her conclusion? That everyone can receive these natural gifts because we are all spiritually connected to God, Source, Allah, or whatever a person chooses to call this wellspring of goodness.
"People seem to have a natural connection to miracles," says Apollon, author of Touched by the Extraordinary, Book Two: Healing Stories of Love, Loss & Hope (Matters of the Soul, 2010, ISBN: 978-0-9754036-9-3, $24.95, www.HealingStoriesOfLoveLossAndHope.com). "No matter what religion we follow, we seem to intuitively know that miracles occur. Many of us have experienced them firsthand, and from what I've observed, most of us would welcome them into our own lives."
Apollon points to the results of a Pew Forum on Religion survey released a few years back showing that nearly 80 percent of Americans believe in miracles. This group of believers included many people who described themselves as being unaffiliated with any particular religious tradition.
"Miracles just seem to be part of the human experience," says Apollon.
Indeed, this theme runs deeply in Apollon's latest book. Touched by the Extraordinary, Book Two is a collection of real-life occurrences-including messages sent from loved ones who've passed on, angel visitations, and signs-that can be defined only as the stuff of miracles.
In one story, as a family was gathered after their nine-year-old daughter's funeral, one stuffed dog activated itself and began barking and another followed a certain family member around the room. In another, written by breast surgeon and author Beth DuPree, MD, a ladybug was present at a friend's deathbed, and for weeks afterward, numerous ladybugs appeared in random places-including under a stack of résumés and even in a pitcher of pomegranate martinis!
Apollon describes her clients' experiences as "blessings that made them feel safe, holy, divine, not alone, protected, and taken care of–and frequently, just made them smile." She says that studies in quantum physics suggest that anyone with the right mindset can live a life rich in miracles from the small to the momentous. You simply have to foster your ability to invite them in.
Here are a few suggestions and insights that will prepare you to receive your own miracles:
- Give yourself permission to be open to extraordinary experiences. "As a psychologist who has sat with patients who have shared countless wondrous stories of small and large miraculous events in their lives, I have come to recognize that the ability to experience miracles is often dependent on whether or not you choose to allow for the possibility of miracles in your life," writes Apollon. Accept that you will allow the Universe to do its good, and it will respond accordingly.
- Immerse yourself in stories of the miraculous. Many, many people have had miraculous experiences. When you read about or listen to the amazing things they've experienced, you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually "set the stage" to notice the small miracles you might be overlooking in your own life and to open yourself up to receive new ones. This is one reason Apollon wrote her book and also recorded herself reading its content in audio book format.
"Someone can tell you all day long that the soul survives death, that your loved one is in a better place, and that God loves you," says Apollon. "But until you hear these pieces of information in the context of a story, they don't resonate, and they might even be easy to disbelieve or dismiss. Essentially, stories speak to us in such a way that bypasses the thinking brain and connects to visceral truths."
- Rediscover your spirituality. Take time to connect with your own soul and with the Source by returning to-or visiting for the first time-prayer, ritual, and faith. Learn to meditate while breathing deeply or do yoga. Most of all, try to reach a point at which you feel your connection to the Universe and everything in it.
- Commit to making significant changes in negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. This is especially important for a person suffering an illness because "anxiety and desperation have a strong tendency to block your ability to heal." Apollon says that to change this stone-set pattern we must always be aware of what we are feeling and then consciously change our thoughts, replacing negative or disturbing images with positive and empowering ones.
"If you think positive thoughts, you will attract positive things, people, and events into your life," explains Apollon. "What we focus on causes us to ‘vibrate' at a particular level-and thus, focusing on thoughts or images that make us feel good or better will enable us to be at a higher level energetically and, consequently, will draw to us a higher level of vibrational experience. This, in turn, invites miracles!"
- Keep a synchronicity journal. Synchronicity is the flow of "meaningful coincidences" that indicate that life, all life, is connected in a complex web of psychic moments, signs, and symbols, and shivers of spiritual connectedness. The sheer volume of these subtle miracles that happen in so many different lives adds up to powerful evidence of "something greater." "The numbers," Apollon says, "will be far greater than you may have imagined."
- Write down your intentions. In detail, record on paper with joyful enthusiasm exactly what you desire from the Universe–daily. Expect good things to be placed in your path and they will come–be it a spiritual visit from a passed loved one, a new chance in a waning relationship, or a miraculous recovery.
Above all, keeping your heart brimming full of love and compassion is the most important factor needed in the creation of miracles. If we all are somehow connected together, this simple intention is the healing balm needed to rescue Earth and all souls upon it. What better way to begin fresh in the new year than with a new faith-based attitude that risks little sorrow and at most promises unprecedented hope and joy?
Apollon asserts, "I think we're all hungry for that, even diehard skeptics. Especially diehard skeptics. My overreaching message is that life itself is extraordinary–miraculous! And all it takes to realize that is to open your eyes and see the amazing things that surround us all, every day."
©2013 Susan Barbara Apollon
As seen in the HealthNewsDigest.com
*More articles on Creating Miracles from Susan Apollon…
A Thanksgiving Miracle
Anna* (a pseudonym) wrote to me at Thanksgiving, sharing a beautiful story of how her recently deceased husband found a creative way to say "Hello" and "I love you." Briefly, Anna explained that she had deeply missed and grieved for her husband over the holiday weekend, especially because the holiday was also his birthday. Feeling particularly heartbroken, she shed many tears as she visited his gravesite at the cemetery.
When she awoke the following morning, she walked into the hallway of her home where her precious dog, Jenny*, was asleep on the floor. In her words, "Low and behold, she had a white feather on the top of her front leg. Oh my God! I ran to get my camera, took the picture which shows an orb with three circles within the long strand (of the orb). Of course, I really started crying then, but what an amazing gift for me!" Feathers have become one of the primary ways her husband communicates his presence to her; this was particularly meaningful and miraculous for Anna.
Anna’s story helped her feel better and had a healing effect. Her story is similar to those in both Touched by the Extraordinary: Books One and Two. I feel that if it helped her heal, it can help you, as well.
ANNOUNCING 2 HOLIDAY BOOKSIGNINGS
AT BARNES & NOBLE
210 Commerce Blvd., Fairless Hills, PA 19030
I will be signing copies of Touched by the Extraordinary:
Books One and Two
I will also be offering a special gift of one of my CDs as my way of saying
"Thank you" from my heart for your purchase.
The CD can also be given as a holiday gift, if you so choose.
A PERSONAL NOTE: Each year, thanks to your ongoing belief in the healing value of Touched by the Extraordinary: Books One and Two, you have spread the word and encouraged those who are seeking hope to read either or both of the Touched by the Extraordinary books.
Born out of the stories of miracles you and so many patients, friends and others have shared with me, Touched by the Extraordinary Books One and Two have provided hope, comfort and inspiration to those of you who personally are — or have loved ones who are challenged by illness, loss and trauma.
Each Chanukah and Christmas, I experience the joy of knowing, thanks to the wonderful feedback I have received, that there are many whose pain and suffering are in some way being mitigated by reading or listening to the extraordinary stories that have helped my patients and so many others heal emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
Please consider letting those who are dealing with any kind of loss or illness know about these special dates at Barnes & Noble, so that I might sign books for them, as well as for them to give as special uplifting gifts for the holidays.
*I will be donating a portion of the proceeds from the sale of both books to The Healing Consciousness Foundation, created by breast cancer surgeon, Dr. Beth DuPree, to provide complementary services to women challenged by breast cancer.
I look forward to meeting and speaking with you in person.
In the meantime, may each day be one of joy and peace for you and your loved ones.
Blessings of Peace, Love & Miracles,
An article that has received significant coverage recently appeared in the news regarding the release of a new book, In the Shadow of a Badge, A Spiritual Memoir, authored by Lillie Leonardi, a retired police officer who had been working for the FBI when 9/11 occurred. Leonardi wrote that when she had arrived at the site of the United Airlines Flight 93 crash, about three hours after it had occurred, she was stunned to discover that there was only a small smoldering crater filled with minimal debris (considering the size of the jetliner and number of passengers and crew that had been on board) – and that there were no bodies.
The Presence of Angels
When interviewed about the book by Joe Mandak of the Associate Press, Leonardi said, "I'm used to crime scenes but this one blew me out of the water. It just looked like the ground had swallowed up the plane… That’s when I started seeing like shimmery lights… and it was kind of misty, and that’s when I first saw the angels there."
She explained that she said nothing to anyone at the time, for fear of others thinking she had lost her mind. Yet, Leonetti befriended many of the survivors of the crash, and the site itself, which is considered holy, sacred ground, has been named the Flight 93 National Memorial. Leonetti admits that in the years following this event, it is her soul-searching that led her to writing the book and sharing what the experience of seeing the angels has meant to her.
It is the meaning we give to the moments in which we feel we are in some way connected to angels that has the ability to impact and transform our lives.
For example, if you question whether or not your angels are with you, even if you have not been personally touched by an angel, just hearing about the stories of others who have experienced angels can contribute to a sense of validation for you that in your most difficult of circumstances, you are not alone and help is available. Furthermore, the help can come from a variety of sources, including God.
In my own life, angels did not become the focus of my attention until my patients and others began sharing their mystifying and extraordinary encounters with deceased loved ones, as well as their near-death experiences in which they felt that it was an angel that saved them from dying. It was these stories that contributed to my own initiation of significant research dealing with prayer, life after life, consciousness, quantum physics, intuition and energy healing modalities.
The gift of placing your attention on such topics is that it opens your heart and mind to the possibility that there is much more than what you can see, touch and feel — and that even you may be more than what you thought yourself to be! A whole new perspective about your life and purpose develops as you allow your heart to open to the meaning and implications of the miraculous stories of angels, guides and deceased loved ones.
With an increased awareness of the presence of angels in my life, I realized that I am never alone and that when I do call out for help, my pleas are answered. This has enabled me to feel more comfortable, grounded, confident and peaceful. In fact, it has been the responses of my angels at critical times in my own journey that led me to including their stories in both my books, Touched by the Extraordinary (One and Two).
When a stunning synchronicity occurs in your life, you may possibly conclude its meaning for you to be that you do not travel this lifetime alone, and that, if you need support, it is available – if you just ask. My own experiences with my angels have enabled me to feel especially cared about and unconditionally accepted by the most loving energy. Simply by calling out for assistance, either verbally or non-verbally, I learned that I would be eventually given what I needed.
Angels Bring Healing…
Lilly Leonetti, in her interview with Mandak, stated the essence of the meaning of angels in her life. She explained that she primarily wrote her book to bring healing and comfort to the survivors. In her words: "The purpose of the book is to tell the story of the angels being there, so that other people understand that God was there."
My hope is that when you feel you are being touched by your angels, you will allow yourself to step back and reflect on the meaning of this in your life. You may discover an underlying healing value that can forever change the course of your journey.
Love & Healing,
Susan Barbara Apollon
©2012 Susan Barbara Apollon
Also, be sure to share with us your experience with angels and miracles in your life.
Make A Difference In Your World
Have you noticed that as you move through the lifespan, you do experience a transformation that is not only physical but, also, emotional and spiritual. For example, when you study women's development, you learn that the majority of women experience physiological changes as they move into their late forties and fifties, which, in turn, initiate a number of other emotional and mental changes, so often perceived as losses. Men, too, undergo changes that impact them across all levels of functioning. There is, on the other hand, another way (which I have chosen) to think of such changes. You can choose to celebrate these experiences, seeing them as gifts that serve to enhance the quality of your life. Just by changing your perspective, miracles can become a more common — rather than uncommon — aspect of your life!
Let me explain… The ceasing of a woman's menstrual cycle, for example, actually leads to an increase in some hormones, such as testosterone. Thus, menopausal women, who were previously patient and tolerant in putting up with the actions of citizens who showed little care and sensitivity for others, no longer demonstrate such patience and tolerance. Sensing injustice, be it on the highway, at work, in relationships and in professional, political and personal settings, these women become more vociferous, more action oriented and wish to take it upon themselves — to make a difference — to "fix the problem — or the mess!"
Whether you are approaching the age of such physical, emotional, mental or spiritual changes — or not, research does demonstrate the value of participation in activities which reinforce your sense of doing for others and making a difference — for someone — something — somewhere! And, all of this contributes to you feeling MARVELLOUS! Such choices of involvement in improving the lot of others — or the earth — have the ability to help you heal and be happier on several levels.
I recently received an e-mail from the Move-On organization that addressed the need to quickly act. It asked that I sign a petition that addressed the US Navy's impact on the environment with their plan for "the use of high-frequency underwater sound for testing which will deafen 15,900 whales and dolphins and kill 1,800 more over the next five years." I strongly felt then — and now — that this is not acceptable — that you and I, with our voice and our choice, have the power to help stop this from taking place. And, so, I along with countless numbers of others, chose to express my feelings by signing the petition — and, hopefully, to make a difference.
Male or female, the quality of your life rests on the choices you make in how you wish to spend your time, energy and resources. No matter what age or gender you may be, choose wisely. By opening your mind and heart to what serves the good of others and the planet, you contribute to the evolution of your own soul, as well as that of all humanity. And, with such an evolution, peace is not far behind.
Love & Healing,
Susan Barbara Apollon
©2012 Susan Barbara Apollon
p.s. Please share with us here or on Facebook the ways you are finding to make a difference in your world.
Finding Miracles in Growth & Change
With another spring behind us and the promise of a beautiful summer ahead of us, I am reminded of how much "change" can add to our lives if we allow it to be the natural, eternal progression that it truly is. And, although the changes that take place in our everyday lives may not always be as predictable as the turning of the seasons, they are certainly no less significant.
With every change we experience there is always a period of letting go of the familiar and the comfortable, followed by a period of uncertainty and, very often, grief. Whether it be a loved one who has transitioned, a job that has been lost, a marriage that has dissolved, a home that we must leave, or even one of our children going off to college, all change requires a period of adjustment to our new circumstances–an adjustment to a space that was once filled and is now seemingly empty. And, as difficult as these adjustments are for some of us, this is the time that miracles often become part of our lives; if we will only open ourselves up to the beauty of the unknown by embracing the very personal experience of letting go.
Sooner or later, most of us will feel the profound pain that comes with losing a friend or family member. But grief isn't all tears and suffering. It’s also a pathway to spiritual growth, the birth of hope, and a deeper capacity for peace and joy. At some point in our lives, many of us have lost a job or a home or a way of life that was familiar and comfortable to us. And, these losses, too, are no less difficult to adjust to than the loss of a beloved friend, pet or family member.
What can help us most through any loss is knowing that others have experienced what we are experiencing, and that we are not alone. And what can help us even more during these changes, is hearing the inspiring true-life stories of others who have also walked the path of loss, grief, and uncertainty–finding their way, healing, learning, growing and, finally, understanding that change is an integral part of life. Their heartfelt stories of synchronicities, answered prayers and miraculous events help us expand our own awareness of the beautiful journey of Life, bringing us an astonishing sense of joy, acceptance, and inner-peace.
In celebration of the coming of yet another beautiful season of growth, expansion, and becoming more, I have reduced the price of both of my "Touched by the Extraordinary" books (Kindle Editions) to just 99 cents each:
TOUCHED BY THE EXTRAORDINARY: BOOK ONE
(Paperback: $15.56) . . . Kindle Special: $0.99 until June 3, midnight
TOUCHED BY THE EXTRAORDINARY: BOOK TWO
Healing Stories of Love, Loss & Hope
(Hardcover: $24.95) . . . Kindle Special: $0.99 until June 3, midnight
It is my hope that these books will bring you much comfort in uncertain times, as well as many moments of joy. If you already have the hardcover or softcover editions, this special Kindle edition would make a wonderful gift for anyone who is experiencing a difficult loss of any kind.
Wishing you all a happy, safe and beautiful summer!
With Blessings of Warmth & Love,
p.s. All comments left in the “Customer Reviews” section on Amazon.com are greatly appreciated… not only does your feedback help me to better understand the feelings of my readers, but more importantly, each and every comment offers tremendous insight and valuable information to others.
PLEASE REMEMBER *** YOU DON’T NEED A KINDLE TO ENJOY A KINDLE BOOK! FREE APPS for your Android Phone or tablet, iPad, iPhone, PC, Mac, BlackBerry or Windows Phone 7 are all available for instant download at www.Amazon.com. The link to FREE Kindle Reading Apps can be found right below the green “Buy Now” box on the product page:
Healing Stories for Grief Help Create Miracles
Are you dealing with grief, have you experienced the loss of a loved one or do you wish you had the power to experience a miracle because you are not sure how you will survive your circumstances? A given in life is that there are aspects you can't control, be it the weather, the economy, people, life and death. Furthermore, the twists and turns of what you can’t control impact your health, relationships, finances, identity and lifestyle. And, it is all about loss of something or someone near and dear to you, including your sense of purpose. If you have experienced any of these circumstances, then you are in need of hope. Hope is an energetic force which sustains life. It is for this reason that I chose to write Healing Stories of Love, Loss and Hope. It is my gift of hope to you.
"Never deprive someone of hope — it may be all they have." ~Anonymous
A healing tonic for the soul, hope is something you lose when overwhelmed by life’s events or failed attempts to achieve your goals, but which can be easily restored through the awareness of what others in your position have experienced. Healing Stories of Love, Loss and Hope is an inspirational collection of healing stories of those dealing with loss, like you. It was written for those who found reason to believe they could survive and recover because miraculous events had taken place which assured them of the power of love and that they were not alone, as they had previously thought.
I have watched, often in astonishment, during the past two and half decades, the changes in my grieving, ill and disappointed patients as they would tell me their healing stories of stunning miracles and improvements in their situations. I observed that with the sharing of their stories, they would experience a transformation and a healing of their souls and, at times, even their bodies. In fact, while recounting their healing stories, their shift in energy would become remarkably more apparent as they would smile, laugh, and exhibit greater energy.
The power of the stories of my patients and others whom I interviewed is that not only do they experience well-being while telling their healing stories, but you, the listener, also feel what they feel, be it joy, love or amazement – and you always come away feeling lighter and better.
Healing Stories for those in need of hope…
I wrote Healing Stories of Love, Loss and Hope while being guided by a specific vision and intention. Recognizing the destructive power of the loss of hope, I visualized a collection of stories that would accomplish two goals: First, each story would comfort and touch the heart of the grieving reader — Second, each would provide the reader with main characters who would serve as role models who were dealing with situations similar to those of the reader , enabling the recognition that if the character could get through such difficulties, there could be hope for the reader as well. Actually, there would be more than hope. The reader, I felt, would recognize his or her ability to reclaim his or her inherent power.
You are powerful. However, what I have discovered is that as a normal human being, you lose the awareness of your power as you navigate your way through the journey of life – but you always live with the intention of eventually reclaiming it. I believe that every story in the collection is a testament to how resilient you are as you meet the challenges of life which contribute to your healing and personal growth.
My personal hope is that as you read healing stories of answered prayers, angelic protection, healings, wondrous synchronicities, the wise guidance of intuition and visits, communication and signs from deceased loved ones, you will allow your heart to open enough to remember the powerful energy of love and to entertain the thought that you are able to create miracles in your life.
My research and clinical work has taught me that you are not only touched by the extraordinary, you are extraordinary! Once you choose to focus on what brings you hope, you experience a wonderful sense of empowerment. With empowerment, comes the intuitive knowing that you are not alone and that you are born with resources which enable you to reclaim your purpose and your identity.
This is the power of healing stories: they remind us of our resilience in the most difficult times, while inspiring, motivating and deeply touching our souls with much needed hope.
"Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles." Samuel Smiles
Love & Healing,
©2012 Susan Barbara Apollon
Remembering Ones We Love While Healing Grief
Holiday lights, beautiful decorations, the hustle and bustle of shoppers, snowflakes falling in some areas, vacationers collecting seashells on pink sandy beaches– and, all the while, loved ones may be dying, detaching from life and preparing to say goodbye to their physical attire and their loving families. For some reason, there are so many who die and leave us during December and the New Year — so many whom we dearly love.
Healing Grief – How do we say goodbye to those we love?
For some, the process of a marriage dissolving is akin to the loss of someone or something you have loved and cherished — and will also require that you take the time to grieve and say goodbye while healing grief.
Whether you are presently experiencing — or have in the past experienced- the death of a family member or friend, know that it is extremely important that you stay in the moment with them while you are actually in their presence and, even later, when with others, when you are not with your dying loved one. Staying present wherever you are serves you and your soul.
Being fully present is a powerful gift for you and also for the soul with whom you choose to spend time. If you have a loved one who is in hospice (be it a facility or their home) or who may be in a hospital (or any similar type of caretaking facility), make time to visit. While there, be sure to listen to him or her with your heart and not your head. If it is you who needs to speak (because they are unable to do so), then speak from your heart. If you are there to sit with them, visualize your heart filling with love and then send it to your loved one, while you are in a relaxed state. Energy lovingly sent from one heart to another has the healing power to bring serenity and peace to one who is not well. You may even envision blue-green ocean water gently flowing over their body, washing away all negativity, while soothing and comforting them.
If you are wondering what to speak about, just travel through your "treasure chest" of stored shared memories that the two of you have, picking something light and amusing or something that has heartwarming significance for both of you. Each of you will be healing the other as you speak.
Do not be afraid to gently hold their hand, touch their shoulder or give a hug, conveying your love and compassion. If you are trained in Reiki, absolutely bring this loving healing energy to your family member or friend. If your loved one appears to be confused or having difficulty remembering, then use props, perhaps photos or special touchstones, to bring the recall of special times into the moment.
Whether you are filled with great love or with regrets, be conscious of what you choose to focus on. By focusing on healing grief with memories of warm connections and sweet, positive thoughts, you will feel so much better and even experience healing of your own.
If your loved one is very ill or much older and appears to have stopped eating and speaks of having seen visitors during the night, it is possible they are experiencing a sense of awareness of their impending death and are truly seeing deceased loved ones who may accompany them to the other side.
When you see your loved one, be it your parent, grandparent or child, struggling to live (not eating or able to communicate with you), and your inner wisdom speaks to you, letting you know they are trying to hold on just for you, then use your intuition to know the right moment to speak with them.
Let them know how much you love them and that you know they feel the same about you. In a relaxed but genuine manner, gently tell your family member or dear friend that you recognize they are having a hard time fighting to live, and that if they are worried about how you will be if they leave, they need not worry. By conveying to them that though you will miss their physical presence, you will be alright — especially because you know they will always live in your heart and be just a thought away.
You might even suggest to them that they can give you a sign or two to let you know that they continue to be with you. For some, this might be a breeze that comes up each time you say or think their name. For others, a sign might be the frequent and persistent presence of a visitor in the form of a ladybug, dragonfly, butterfly, feather or cardinal. And, for even others, a sign might be a light flickering or a musical toy or glove starting to play — without anyone turning it on. All of these signs, including turning on the car radio and hearing a mutual favorite song playing, come especially when you are thinking of your loved one or on an anniversary such as a birthday or on the holidays — such as Christmas, the New Year or Easter!
After your loved one has died, how you will remember him or her and healing grief is a choice you make. The choice is yours. Of course, you will miss this remarkable soul. However, by choosing to honor and celebrate their life, you will begin to create healing for you, your family and your friends. Be sure to continue to dialogue with your loved one, sharing your thoughts and feelings.
So often, we continue to lovingly care for our loved ones who have died by visiting their resting place, often making sure it is lovely and in good condition, starting a charity in their honor or creating a foundation or scholarship in memory of them. Funerals can be special way of commemorating their life. Always, always, the choice will be yours. There is healing in how we choose to remember those we love and healing grief..
What I have learned is that grief is a part of life but it is not what we are here for. Be sure to process the pain of separation from your family member, friend, pet or dream. Do this by familiarizing yourself with an understanding about grief, perhaps by reading about it or speaking to a counselor or therapist. (Try reading a book like How to Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies by Theresa Rando.) But, be sure to lighten your grief with levity; humor is a good thing, especially when grieving and healing grief..
Many wish to better understand and have some insight into what the afterlife may be all about. Consider reading books that share the near-death experiences of those who have died, experienced heaven and have returned. For example, Dr. Melvin Morse, a pediatrician, has written books about his little patients and their experiences after they died, as well as conducted impressive research in the area of NDE's. Betty Edie's Embraced by the Light is one of the best described NDEs ever written. Recently, Heaven Is for Real, a young boy’s true story, reached the top of the best seller charts. The Touched by the Extraordinary series also describes and documents the research dealing with life after life. Healing grief…The choice is yours.
Know that grieving takes time. Yet, you are here to heal — rather than carry your grief as a lifelong burden. And, if you so choose, in time you will feel and grow stronger and feel it is alright to release the pain of missing your loved one, healing grief and to remember him or her from the loving core of your heart and inner being with the greatest of joy and gratitude for them.
Love is among the highest of vibrational energies. The energy of love does not die, despite the physical death of the body. Love is the essence of your soul’s energy. Whether you ask or not, your loved ones are with you on anniversaries, birthdays and holidays. Be sure to include them in your thoughts and prayers. Your heart's desires and your thoughts are vibrationally known to the universe. The spirit of your loved one will always be with you — always. Just ask and it shall be so.
Love & Healing,
©2010 Susan Barbara Apollon
p.s. Please share with us how you are processing and healing grief!
Miracles come in all sorts of sizes, shapes and circumstances. Just by changing your thoughts or perspective about how you view a situation or person enables you to feel as though a miracle has taken place. Perhaps this is because two key characteristics of miracles are that they are expressions of love and they usually involve changes in your perspective. Hurricane Irene, a recent event on the East Coast provided many opportunities for miracles to occur.
“There are only two ways to view life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle
and the other is as though everything is a miracle.
I choose the latter.”
For example, who would have ever considered that a huge monster hurricane, Irene, which rolled over much of the East Coast of the United States, might result in circumstances which could be considered gifts? The reporter who covered Times Square during the event could not help but comment on the impact of Irene on the people of New York. Imagine what he was feeling when he commented that people who had come together because they had no electricity, no places to eat and no physical way to get to where they wanted to go, were, for the first time in his memory (aside from 9/11), showing concern for one another, offering assistance to others and being openly kind, caring and compassionate? It took a major threat to their well-being for people to open their hearts and extend their loving kindness to one another.
Miracles of Unexpected Gifts
Why would you call such actions gifts? Perhaps the word gift is the best description here because in such different, challenging times, when you are feeling a sense of isolation, doubt, fear, anxiety and concern for your well being, the greatest gift is another human being offering you kindness and caring about you and your well being. It always feels good to receive heartfelt caring – even from strangers! In difficult times, when you feel a lack of control and even helpless, it seems miraculous to receive unexpected gifts in the form of expressions of support.
I recall that just after completing the preparations for the arrival of what the media touted as “One of the biggest hurricanes to ever come up the East Coast – and one of the most dangerous”, Irene arrived with wind, rain and a number of tornadoes, all of which caused additional concern and lost sleep.
However, her impact was felt by many in extraordinary ways. Personally, I was deeply touched by friends and family who checked in with my husband and myself, volunteering their help and assuring us they would be there for us if we needed them. This was especially comforting for us. We, too, reached out to those we were worried about to confirm for them that they would not have to handle any disaster alone.
After the storm had passed, the winds were very strong and capable of bringing down huge trees and branches. The wind was also responsible for the loss of our electricity, a real problem if you have a sump pump that needs to always be on because of the constant flow of water coming into your basement from the drenched earth. As I walked outside our home, gathering fallen tree branches, I met a number of neighbors who were out, checking on one another and, again, offering help to each other to deal with the aftermath of the storm.
It felt heartwarming to be talking with our neighbors. You could say we formed our own support group, even if just for a few minutes. We had a sense of connection and we knew that we were not alone in our difficulties…. (to be continued)
Love, Inspiration & Healing,
©2010 Susan Barbara Apollon
*Be sure to comment and let us know what miracles are happening in your life!
It's all about healing… In the July 2011 Issue of Personal Excellence I was honored to have Renew Your Spirit: Start making these 12 choices included in their Inspiration Spirit section and wanted to share this with you:
SPIRITUAL HEALING MEANS creating a shift in energy by making 12 choices:
• Create harmony and balance through breath meditation. Practice daily breath meditation for 15 minutes: Visualize your breath coming in from God or the Universe, merging with you (your body, thoughts, feelings), and filling you with healing energy. See your out breath nudging out all negative or painful thoughts or images, leaving you feeling better.
• Become aware of your power through journaling. Journal for 15 minutes a day about situations and incidents when you felt your power. Then note how your fears or insecurities steal your power. List ways you can reclaim your power (actions, self-talk, affirmations, breath meditation, taking courses).
• Affirm your power during the day. Write affirmations and visualize and feel the power in you as you daily affirm: I Am . . . worthy, wise, beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, loving, forgiving, strong, lovable, protected and watched over. Display them to remind you of your power.
• Choose forgiveness. Detach from old hurts, resentments, and betrayals. Bring to mind the person or issue that creates pain for you, then face it, embrace it, breathe it out, and say I forgive you or I surrender you to God, because I choose to move on with my life. Forgive another for you, not for him or her. Feel the relief.
• Practice visualization. Picturing what you want in your mind’s eye helps you co-create that outcome. A positive image helps you feel confidence instead of worry/fear, and attract good things.
•Perform an act of compassion, caring, kindness, and service daily. Choose any activity in which you do something for another person or group with authentic feelings of compassion and love. Do a physical deed that impacts the quality of life of another person or being.
• Choose to be inspired. Choose to read or listen to materials that inform, soothe, entertain, and inspire you.
•Take action on at least one intention. Gather courage and take action toward at least one intention every day.
• Create a sacred space for prayer in home or office; and there pray daily–expressing gratitude and asking for assistance. Of course, you can pray anywhere, anytime.
• Remember your blessings.Show gratitude when you pray. Thank you is a high vibration. During the day, give thanks for each blessing; and as you say it, picture it.
• Love yourself first; then love others. Love yourself by devoting at least a half-hour doing something for yourself. Pursue your passion! You can’t love others if you don’t first love yourself
• Smile, laugh, tell a joke or story, watch a funny movie, dance your favorite dance, or listen to your favorite music.Laughter and music are good for raising your energetic vibrations. You are here for joy. Choose what makes you feel joy, and you’ll attract good things.
Susan Apollon, an intuitive psychologist, is author of Touched by the Extraordinary: Healing Stories of Love, Loss and Hope. www.TouchedByTheExtraordinary.com
ACTION: Renew your spirit in these 12 ways.
Reprint from July 2011 Personal Excellence
When implementing these 12 choices to renew your spirit, please let me know how your inspiration and spiritual healing is evolving.
Love, Inspiration & Healing,