Tips For Helping The Grieving, The Ill And Ourselves! -Part 2

July 21, 2008 · Filed Under Healing Wisdom · 3 Comments 

“When it comes to the last moment of this lifetime, and we look back across it, the only thing that’s going to matter is, ‘What was the quality of our love?’” Richard Bach

If, at all possible, take a meal to your friend or loved one or go out for a meal. Changing scenery is especially helpful for those who are grieving or who have not been well. Set aside a time for the two of you to get together, enabling him or her to have something special to which you both can look forward. Again, be sure to attend their feelings but balance the content with that which can shift the focus onto something other than their pain or illness..

Also, if your friend or loved one needs to be resting or lying quietly, you can be of assistance and help him or her by learning to use your breath. By consciously breathing slowly and deeply, without words, and just by sitting near the individual, you can help him or her align with your intentional relaxed breathing, causing him or her to be more at peace. Words are not always necessary. This is something that is especially nice for those who are very ill either at home or in the hospital or a hospice situation.

Keep in mind that being truly present is more about your being with someone as though this person is an extension of you and you are extending pure loving energy to this part of you. Presence is about love. Visualize your heart filling with loving energy and then visualize the energy going from your heart to the heart of your friend or loved one. This can be a powerful healing gift.

Whether you are near of far from your loved one or family member, always hold them in your heart with loving intentions. This serves their energy and yours.

Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary

©Copyright 2008 Susan Barbara Apollon

Tips For Helping The Grieving, The Ill And Ourselves! -Part 1

July 18, 2008 · Filed Under Healing Wisdom · Comment 

It does not matter what you do in life; the only thing that matters is that you do what you do with love.” Elisabeth Kubler Ross

Life is deliciously filled with a mixture of joy and sorrow. At times, it feels uncomfortably weighted with more pain as a result of learning that others, including friends and family, are dealing with illness, as well as issues involving death, dying trauma and grief. At such times, we are left feeling sad, energetically very low and wondering how we are going to handle being available for everyone who needs us.

Whether you are a young mom or dad with several children or a busy working man or woman with a full time job, when you learn of a friend or loved one who has died or who is very ill, you want to learn how to be present and available, stay uplifted, and yet protect and keep your own energy from falling to dangerous levels.

Remember that what you focus on determines how you feel and how you feel determines your level of energy. So be clear about your intention regarding assisting others in need of your help. Be fully present in your attention when you call to see how they are doing and to offer your services. In other words, while speaking with them, be there with everything you have got. When not with them, place your focus on what feels better.

One suggestion: Take a few moments to sit and breathe deeply, enabling you to be at peace and feel truly relaxed before you pick up the phone to call your friend or loved one, or to actually go and be with him or her either at home or in the hospital. While visiting, be sure to be completely present. Listen attentively to their concerns and their feelings, without trying to deny them or make light of them.

However, you can help by then asking your friend or loved one about other family members, their activities and various other subjects such as vacation plans, how their children are doing in both school and in their sports activities, as well as their holiday plans – all of which are lighter and can help shift the focus to something that feels genuinely better and more uplifting.

Take time to balance the heavy feelings dealing with sadness, pain and/or loss with humor, a necessary antidote. The immune system needs the energetic vibration of humor to produce needed chemicals to help it work effectively. Be sure to bring a joke or humorous story, being sure it is appropriate, because humor expedites healing within the cells of the body. How about a video, DVD or audio to life their spirits and bring a smile or laugh or two to them? (It is good for you, as well!) CONTINUED

Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”

©Copyright 2008 Susan Barbara Apollon

A Gift of Intuition

“Teach only Love, for that is what you are.” Gerald Jampolsky, MD

“Love, like hope, heals. It is the very foundation of hope. If we allow hope to mingle with love, the problem ‘false hope’ will evaporate.” Larry Dossey, MD

Lisa, a delightful and interesting woman who had called my office to offer complements regarding Touched by the Extraordinary, shared the following true story with me.

She explained that when she had lived in Yardley, PA, more than a decade before, she recalled a very nice family that lived across the street from her.. According to Lisa, the parents had two sons, one of whom had Leukemia and who had eventually died. Lisa was deeply affected by this and empathetically felt the family’s pain.

Feeling great compassion for the parents, Lisa was drawn to their situation. On her daily walks, she would often find herself focusing on their home, wondering how they were managing. After the death of the one son, at the time of the Jewish holiday, Passover, Lisa’s attention was caught by something unusual.

It was the evening of the first of the two Seders that are a part of the Passover tradition. Lisa, in her mind’s eye, had seen a young man enter the house, along with an elderly gentleman. She described the elderly man as portly and wearing a very, very crumbled suit, as though it had been intentionally crumbled.

Louise said that when she met Ann, a few days after the first Seder, she asked how things had gone with her company. Ann was surprised by Lisa’s question and replied that they had not had visitors for the holiday. Lisa quickly noted what she had seen; when finished with her description of the older man, Ann’s jaw dropped in astonishment.

“That is my father, this person you describe,” Ann said with certainty. She continued: “ He was born in France and he died many years ago. How could you have known this? I never discussed it with you.” Lisa explained that she had, indeed, seen the two individuals enter the house. However, she had seen them in her mind’s eye, rather than with her physical eyes. Ann was truly amazed, though not surprised

In fact, Ann told Lisa that she had actually felt the presence of others at the Seder table. This gift was the validation of her sense that it had been her son and her father who were present and sharing the holiday with them. This touched and comforted her so very much.

When I questioned Lisa about her ability to do this, she replied that it only happens when she feels a genuine sense of affection for the individual. In other words, your intuition is rooted in a foundation of compassionate love; it is the power of love that reinforces and enhances your intuitive powers.

Developing Intuition…

It all starts with love! And, we are all capable of knowing and sensing what Lisa experienced. It takes practice and the intent to relax, go into the silent stillness deep within you, stay in the Now, fill your heart with love and focus this on another being with the intention of receiving whatever you need to receive on their behalf. Take time to play with this and before you know it, you will be seeing with your mind’s eye, just as Lisa does.

Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”

©Copyright 2008 Susan Barbara Apollon

Goodbye Sudden Moodswings: Hello Stability, Peace & Life, Part 2

“We must make our homes centers of compassion and forgiveness.” Mother Theresa

The SIXTH STEP : Ask for names of excellent psychologists or social workers with whom you can meet. Why talk? Well, yes, it is good to give expression to your feelings. But, there is more. The value of talking with someone you trust and with whom you are comfortable is that you get to reclaim your power; that is, the power with which you were born.

The SEVENTH STEP: TALK AND LISTEN. In talk therapy, you discover many aspects of yourself that contribute to your feeling of a connection with a long lost friend. But, the additional value of talking to a psychotherapist is that you gain clarity as to what triggers cause you to suddenly shift your mood, as well as a variety of coping devices with which you were born and which you can employ at any time to help you regain a sense of control of your life. You also recognize that you have the power to release and replace the old taped messages from childhood that you have been playing unconsciously.

The EIGHTH STEPTake time to become conscious of and to actively give thanks for all your blessings. Do this frequently throughout the day, taking nothing for granted. But, be sure to do this from your heart and not your head. Write them and say them aloud and you will feel better!

The NINTH STEP: Remember to harness the gift of your breath. As you take a few minutes throughout the day to focus on following your breath in and out, watching it carry peace and healing into cells in every part of you, while releasing all negativity, you release chemicals in your brain which contribute to your feeling more peaceful and relaxed.

The TENTH STEP: Acknowledge and release past grievances that are holding you back from healing; forgive yourself and others; stay in the Now. Say I forgive me for… and I forgive … for …. When you intentionally decide to release and surrender old hurts, pain and unresolved issues – for your sake and not for the other, you move into the Now where there is only peace.

The ELEVENTH STEP: Be compassionate, loving and kind to yourself and to others. SPEAK KINDLY TO YOURSELF AND TO OTHERS. Words can hurt deeply!

The TWELFTH STEP: Find and follow your passion. Do what makes you happy.

The THIRTEENTH STEP: Pray, say Help me, please, to whomever your Higher Power may be. Help is always available but not often visible.

The FOURTEENTH STEP: See yourself as a VICTOR rather than a victim; see yourself walking through a tunnel and into the Light which is visible at the other end.

The FIFTEENTH STEP: Affirm to yourself frequently: I am getting through this, one moment at a time. I can manage this one minute at a time. I intend to be here for wonderful things and to have a good life. I am loved and I have hope.

The SIXTEENTH STEP: REMEMBER YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHAT OTHERS THINK, ONLY OVER YOURSELF! If someone uses you as a scapegoat for their own pain, do not take personally their words. It may be about them!


Finally, ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE LESSONS IN EACH MOMENT of your experience, as this will enable you to see your experience from the Higher Part of your Self, the part that recognizes just how very powerful you are.

Susan Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”

Goodbye Sudden Moodswings: Hello Stability, Peace & Life Part 1

Goodbye Sudden Moodswings: Hello Stability, Peace & Life

July 7, 2008 · Filed Under Creating Peace & Happiness · 1 Comment 

“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Are you one of two million American adults who feel as though you are on an emotional rollercoaster and wish you could stop the ride, but are at a loss as to how to do that? Some of us are born with a chemical makeup that may need extra assistance in enabling us to live life with a greater sense of stability and peace.

Yes, you can feel good. You can even learn how to move from feelings of depression, sadness or intense anger to feelings of joy and peace, but in a more appropriately timed manner, rather than with suddenness that catches you by surprise!

The FIRST STEP: MAINTAIN THE HOPE THAT THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS AND LIFE WILL BE GOOD. Keep in mind that you are blessed to live in the 21st century in which science has developed new medications which have restored to millions a quality of life that would not have been possible a century ago.

The SECOND STEP: Recognize that you are a unique being, born with great potential and many gifts– and that all of this is absolutely perfect. Accept that this is one aspect of who you are – rather than pretending that this part of you belongs to someone else – because it does not! In fact, honor all aspects of who you are; own each with respect and admiration.

The THIRD STEP: Become aware of how your mood shifts affect you and your life. Become conscious of what triggers these shifts within you, and become even more aware of how you respond to them, including what you say to yourself when you notice you are shifting downward or upward and how you are behaving, as well as what you are feeling while you are shifting. This beginning phase of accepting and taking responsibility for becoming more conscious of what is taking place within you in response to your environment is a KEY STEP.

A FOURTH STEP and key piece of this equation: Visit your family doctor, just as you would with any physical issue which disturbs your daily quality of life. Let him or her know what you are experiencing, noticing, and becoming conscious of and how this is interfering with your quality of life.

A FIFTH STEP: Your Ask your doctor to recommend a psychiatrist for you to see – and not because you are crazy!!! But because you are lucky enough to live in a time when we have medications available that can restore a healthy chemical balance to your life. Remember, you are an amazing being who has much to do during this lifetime and, in order to do it, it is helpful to have a re-stabilization of your mood or a balancing of your chemicals.

Now, here’s the thing: If you do not feel comfortable with your psychiatrist, find another with whom you do feel comfortable. This is the doctor who will be suggesting medications for you to try until you find the right medication or combination of medications which can help you stabilize your mood. And be sure to be patient with this process. It usually takes time to determine just the right amounts of the medications that work best for you.


Susan Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”