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Secrets To Finding Bliss And Peace In The Midst Of Dealing With Grief And Loss… Part 2
“As you get older, you see the difficulties people have and you see their spirituality so much more.” George Michael
No matter how difficult loss may be for you, be it your grieving special time or situation from the past, a loved one, a place, a job, your health, a dream or the loss of a pet, there are things you can do, via the choices you make, which enable you to feel a sense of bliss and peace in the midst of dealing with grief and loss. In healing grief, one wonderful choice you may make is to take some time to meditate and go deep within your own being, to your core, your stillness.
For example, my heart fills with love for those I miss or for whatever it is I feel has separated from me. So, I sit, pray that they be blessed and watched over and, then, in meditation, I go into the stillness. By using my breath, I center, ground and raise my energy to create my gateway into the stillness. There, I experience great warmth, quiet, a sense of being loved and embraced by my loved ones, as well as by my Source (God, for me) and my angels. This leads to feelings of exquisite bliss and peace, even as I grieve.
In this place, deep within my being, during meditation, I can choose to merge with what I call the Oneness (or All That Is), sometimes called the Field or the Collective Unconscious, the Universe or God. I come to the stillness, deep within me, at my core, sometimes because I feel, from my clinical research and experience, that my loved ones are a part of this place and, here, in the still, gentle, beautiful stillness, I can be and speak with all my loved ones who have passed on.
In this peaceful place, I also feel that I am with my Source, which for me, is God, but, for you, it may be Buddha, Jesus, Universal Energy, Mary, or whatever you wish Source to be. Here I am in bliss and feel greatly comforted. In fact, I often find myself becoming emotionally moved and tearful when I enter this state. It is so healing.
Also, healing from loss is expedited by talking about loved ones who have “died” and by remembering them with your friends and family. In this way, you connect with them, with their essence, their legacy, their spirit and their love. Yes, you are blessed with the ability to feel their love once again, just by choosing to remember the many wonderful moments of the time you shared with them.
You are drawing their energy to you, the energy of a loving connection, the energy of Love. Love (according to scientists such as David Hawkins) is such a high energy that when you experience it, you feel so good, even blissful and peaceful. You can’t get better than that!
Even if the moments with those you grieve were not always wonderful, you can choose to view your relationships with them from your Higher or Soul’s perspective, sometimes referred to as the Observer’s vantage point. From here, you can lovingly observe the role that relationship played in your life, perhaps recognizing that if they had not been who they were, you would not have made choices which contributed to your being who you are now, in this present moment.
If you experienced difficulties or challenges with your loved one, consider expressing your gratitude, appreciation and heartfelt thanks to him or her because those challenges provided you with opportunities for valuable learning experiences, as well as the resistance you needed to become who you are today. Thank them from your heart for the lessons you learned while traveling this lifetime with them.
Honor them. I doubt I would be writing this had it not been for the tougher moments that I encountered in the early years of my life, situations which created the resistance I needed to grow to be who I am.
Choose to recognize that your loved ones did the best they could and that they most likely did this from their love for you, no matter what mistakes they made! A most important point here is that by choosing to forgive them for any unresolved hurts and pain, you are enhancing your chances of experience feelings of greater peace and bliss. Love and forgiveness go hand in hand,When we truly love, we can and do forgive, and peace and bliss are the natural, wonderful consequence of this process. TO BE CONTINUED
Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
©2009Susan Barbara Apollon
Secrets To Finding Your Bliss And Peace In The Midst Of Dealing With Grief And Loss
“God is closest to those with broken wings.” Jewish saying
Have you noticed that there are times when it seems that your sense of grief and loss seems particularly overwhelming? For some reason, more deaths tend to come around the holidays, be it Christmas, Thanksgiving or Easter. The loss of a child, as well as the loss of a spouse, parent, sibling, friend and, certainly, the loss of a pet, will bring up other losses in your lives (losses that feel vibrationally the same), including the loss of dreams, purpose, jobs, health and identity.
So, as you start the New Year, many of you have either recently experienced some form of loss or have been reminded of multiple past losses. In other words, you know that you are deeply missing and grieving for your family or friends or whatever significant experience that had once been a part of your life.
I remember that sometime in early December, while putting in exhausting hours, trying to complete several projects before the year’s end, my mind wandered to my mom and dad, and I suddenly found myself falling to my knees ( fortunately my office is carpeted ), crying into my apron and screaming aloud, “Where are you? Where are you?”
My parents, Simmy and Harry, had died at the same time of year – during the winter holidays. Those who know me will be surprised I should ask such a question, given the courses I teach and the books I write which deal with spirituality and healing from grief and loss.
You see, I know with every cell of my being that death is a matter of transformation of energy – that it is the energy of the body which is transformed and which is most often present for us, as soul energy, soon after the loss of the physical body. My research and clinical work have confirmed for me that our loved ones frequently continue to be energetically present for us whenever we are dealing with loss, which occurs especially during the first year following the loss, and is usually a part of the second, as well.
But, I miss my parents, just as you miss your loved ones, and while I know they are spiritually and energetically available to me, every once in awhile, I would love to hold them, hug them, be their little girl, once again, and talk with them. You know what I mean. Even 15 years after my mom’s death and two years after my dad’s, I want to call them and share the newest, most wonderful events in our children’s lives, the grandchildren they adored, and I have also wanted them to physically share our holiday dinners and celebrations with us.
So, in the midst of dealing with grief and loss, what can you do to feel more peaceful and blissful? While there many ways which enable you to re-establish an inner sense of balance and harmony, whatever you do, it must feel right for you in that moment. For example, simply give yourself permission to cry while looking at photographs and momentos of your loved ones
Talk to them wherever you the feelings seem to overpower you. Sometimes, I talk to them while seated at my kitchen table, while driving alone in my car (not so odd looking these days, given that people are always talking on their cell phones) or while doing the dishes.
I talk to my deceased loved ones, sometimes mentally, sometimes verbally, telling them what is in my heart. Again, my research and the work of quantum physicist, Albert Einstein, and his colleagues, have taught me that everything is pure energy and vibrates, including us, our thoughts and our loved ones from whom we have been separated. They, therefore, are well aware of our thoughts and feelings, again, because everything is energy and vibrates.
Furthermore, because of the power of your loving connection with those you grieve (love being one of the highest energetic vibrations), they are very aware of what you feel within your heart, which you express through your words and thoughts (all pure energy – the energy of love). Personally, I experience a sense of bliss and peace and am comforted by the thought that my deceased loved ones know and feel the love that I feel for them both in my heart and throughout my entire being. TO BE CONTINUED
Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
©2009Susan Barbara Apollon
Tips To Living A Life Of Bliss – Or To Peace And Contentment… Part 3
“To laugh often, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children…to leave the world a better place…to know one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Bliss can also be created by choosing to expose yourself to healing vibrational experiences: translation, your favorite music. Research has shown that when we listen to music of our choice, we release more endorphins and experience greater clarity, less confusion and increased well-being. Beside being soothing to our cells, vibrationally, the music forces us to be in the moment, distracting us from focusing on what would cause us further suffering. The result: bliss!
Be sure to consider other types of vibrational sounds on which you can focus. Bliss can be the result of listening to comedy that causes you to laugh heartily. Norman Cousins was one of the first to write about the power of laughter to ease pain and expedite healing, leading to bliss.
Bliss can be evoked even through journaling which uses the powerful tools of imagery and visualization. Make it a practice to write ten to fifteen minutes or more daily and allow yourself to write about something you intend to create, be it your dream job, spouse, family, home or your world. Being fully in the Now as you write, use all your senses to imagine what you want in the future as actually occurring in the Moment. Feel the joy of this and the vibration of this will move through every cell of your being, filling you with pure bliss! And, what is lovely, is that this process enables you to manifest your dreams.
Bliss comes when you give yourself permission to do something you enjoy and about which you are passionate, but which you do not do often, if ever! Taking time to go to a concert, meeting a friend for coffee, driving to the mountains or to the beach to visit friends, shopping, taking a course, learning to play an instrument, taking a luxurious hot bath or getting a massage are some examples.
One of the most assured ways of experiencing bliss is knowing you are making a difference in the life of another. Choosing to be of service by volunteering your time, effort and energy results in the release of endorphins, making you feel gratified and valued. Consider learning a healing modality, such as Reiki, and using this not only on yourself, but on your pets, as well as family members. You may wish to receive certification in a healing modality and choose to use this as a way you can help others to heal.
Finally, bliss is often the described state of taking time daily or whenever possible to experience going deep within you, into the stillness of your soul. You can do this by learning to focus on your breath, praying, meditating, doing yoga, qui gong and/or tai chi, Engaging in any one of these activities enables you to connect with your intuitive wisdom, which, in turn, connects you with your Higher Power and the recognition that you are a being of Love, worthy of being loved.
Bliss is Love, be it the love you feel for your most significant other, that is, you, or the love you feel for another. May your life be filled with only bliss.
Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
©Copyright 2008 Susan Barbara Apollon
Tips To Living A Life Of Bliss, Peace and Contentment… Part 2
“Nothing is worth more than this day.”….Goethe
“The meeting of two persons is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” Carl Jung
So, how do you arrive at such a blissful state? To find your own connection to your Higher Power or Source – or to be in your personal zone, you might try one or more of the suggestions that follow, noting which ones best work for you. If you think they are really simple, you are right; they are. They work because they enable you to shift energetically, which impacts your physiology, contributing to the release of the chemicals that enhance your entire body, mind and spirit.
Bliss comes when we are fully aware of our being connected to, valued and loved by another. Reach out to someone, perhaps a family member, old friend or neighbor with whom you have not spoken in some time. Call and make arrangements to get together, and then go and be with one another; feel the pleasure of the connection. Fill your heart with caring and love for this individual. Truly be present, whether on the phone or in person. Truly be in the moment, listening with your heart and speaking from your heart.
These connections are, if nothing less, amazingly precious, and can be highly spiritual. And, they are even more so when you make it your intent to merge at the soul level; that is, to recognize that both of you are more than physical beings. Rather, you are souls yearning to reconnect, with no regard for appearance, status or role. Such soul to soul connections are among the highest of vibrational experiences, often leaving you feeling as though you are on a natural high or in pure bliss.
You may connect by taking time to be and play with your pet, be it your bird, cat, dog or any other pet. While petting, holding, talking to, walking with or playing with your pet, notice your feelings and your pet’s response to you, as well. Just being aware of and feeling your pet’s love for you, causes bliss. If you are truly in the moment, you may be feeling a sense of peace and gratitude for having your pet with whom to share your life, or, you may be experiencing deep love and affection for him or her. Just the act of petting your dog or cat releases endorphins, chemicals that help you to feel better.
Consider finding a way to personally experience some aspect of nature, be it taking time for a bike ride, going for a walk or run outdoors, going fishing, or going to your favorite restaurant which has a view of a river or lake. For example, recently my husband and I had the most wonderful time in our local park. While there, we saw individuals, couples and families canoeing, picnicking, bike riding, flying kites, skateboarding, walking with their dogs, or simply sprawled out on the grass enjoying the magnificent view of the lake: – you get the picture.
The day was magnificent and we felt we were in heaven, so totally recognizing the gift of being fully in the present, the Now and the Moment. I shall never forget those few hours. When I am struggling to feel less stressed, I just bring up images of our time there and I feel better. In fact, I snapped some photos and one is now my desktop photo, serving as a vibrational reminder of being in this personal zone.
Nature is considered to be God’s territory. It is where we feel an awareness of Truth and a sense of closeness to that field of energy which created All That Is. Perhaps we affectionately call nature “Mother Nature” because we intuitively experience a sense of being embraced by this nurturing, maternal force, as well as an awareness of a feminine parental power which is far greater and wiser than we are. Clearly, there is an intuitive knowing on our part that directs us toward aspects of nature so that we can, if we wish, feel as though we are merging with this powerful, creative energy that lovingly allows us to feel the joy we call bliss.
Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
©Copyright 2008 Susan Barbara Apollon
Tips To Living A Life Of Bliss , Peace and Contentment.
"You can do nothing to inspire the person in front of you, if you do not inspire yourself first.”… Sogyal Rinpoche
“I can roll up in a ball and cry…or I can sow some nets. I choose to sow some nets in the time I have”…Randy Pausch
How amazing you are! It is the choices you make that determine your bliss, joy, peace and even contribute to your being aware of how connected you are to your Higher Power, whoever and whatever that may be. This is real Power! And you were born with the intuitive wisdom to do whatever is necessary to find your bliss.
Though you were born feeling and knowing this bliss, life being what it is, this knowing is something you tend to forget. It becomes part of your life’s journey to realize - or remember – that you are entitled to live in bliss – and that it is all an inside job! There is nothing outside of you that determines whether you are happy or peaceful. It must come from within.
What is bliss, after all? Personally, being in bliss is my awareness of overwhelming peace, joy and well being, as though I am connected to All That Is. It is not unlike what athletes call “being in the zone,” or making love, or successful meditation, or simply being still. Bliss can be the feeling you may experience when you are in the park on a beautiful fall day, on the beach listening to the soothing sounds of the waves, or listening to your favorite music while on a drive in your car or even seated in your special chair at home.
Remember the moment you held your newborn or your first puppy or kitten and how you felt? That is bliss! You were totally in the present moment, enjoying the experience you were having. Perhaps you can recall the first time you traveled somewhere that you had longed dreamed about? Or remember that moment you experienced winning a competition for which you had long been preparing? That, too, is bliss.
Of course, when things are going well, it is easier to feel bliss. But, when your outside world feels as though it is falling apart, such as dealing with the impact of the recent financial crises, the loss of a loved one or receiving upsetting news about someone or something about which you deeply care, you can and you must, eventually, find your sense of bliss, peace and well-being by connecting you with the core of your being.
You really do have the power to create your bliss via the choices you make and the image, person or thought on which you choose to focus. We have extensive research to validate that when you focus on your fears, worries, tragedies, anticipated problems and losses, you create an inner state of suffering. Yes, suffering. And, when you choose to focus on what feels good, you feel good!
Please, do not misunderstand. Life is what it is. There are going to be curve balls; there will be events and occurrences which result in pain and suffering. But, there needs to be balance. In time, you need to re-create a dominance of feelings of well-being and bliss. This comes by the choice you make about your mental images and thoughts. Choose carefully!
Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
©Copyright 2008 Susan Barbara Apollon
Goodbye Sudden Moodswings: Hello Stability, Peace & Life, Part 2
“We must make our homes centers of compassion and forgiveness.” Mother Theresa
The SIXTH STEP : Ask for names of excellent psychologists or social workers with whom you can meet. Why talk? Well, yes, it is good to give expression to your feelings. But, there is more. The value of talking with someone you trust and with whom you are comfortable is that you get to reclaim your power; that is, the power with which you were born.
The SEVENTH STEP: TALK AND LISTEN. In talk therapy, you discover many aspects of yourself that contribute to your feeling of a connection with a long lost friend. But, the additional value of talking to a psychotherapist is that you gain clarity as to what triggers cause you to suddenly shift your mood, as well as a variety of coping devices with which you were born and which you can employ at any time to help you regain a sense of control of your life. You also recognize that you have the power to release and replace the old taped messages from childhood that you have been playing unconsciously.
The EIGHTH STEP …Take time to become conscious of and to actively give thanks for all your blessings. Do this frequently throughout the day, taking nothing for granted. But, be sure to do this from your heart and not your head. Write them and say them aloud and you will feel better!
The NINTH STEP: Remember to harness the gift of your breath. As you take a few minutes throughout the day to focus on following your breath in and out, watching it carry peace and healing into cells in every part of you, while releasing all negativity, you release chemicals in your brain which contribute to your feeling more peaceful and relaxed.
The TENTH STEP: Acknowledge and release past grievances that are holding you back from healing; forgive yourself and others; stay in the Now. Say I forgive me for… and I forgive … for …. When you intentionally decide to release and surrender old hurts, pain and unresolved issues – for your sake and not for the other, you move into the Now where there is only peace.
The ELEVENTH STEP: Be compassionate, loving and kind to yourself and to others. SPEAK KINDLY TO YOURSELF AND TO OTHERS. Words can hurt deeply!
The TWELFTH STEP: Find and follow your passion. Do what makes you happy.
The THIRTEENTH STEP: Pray, say Help me, please, to whomever your Higher Power may be. Help is always available but not often visible.
The FOURTEENTH STEP: See yourself as a VICTOR rather than a victim; see yourself walking through a tunnel and into the Light which is visible at the other end.
The FIFTEENTH STEP: Affirm to yourself frequently: I am getting through this, one moment at a time. I can manage this one minute at a time. I intend to be here for wonderful things and to have a good life. I am loved and I have hope.
The SIXTEENTH STEP: REMEMBER YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHAT OTHERS THINK, ONLY OVER YOURSELF! If someone uses you as a scapegoat for their own pain, do not take personally their words. It may be about them!
The SEVENTEENTH STEP: DO THE BEST YOU CAN!
Finally, ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE LESSONS IN EACH MOMENT of your experience, as this will enable you to see your experience from the Higher Part of your Self, the part that recognizes just how very powerful you are.
Susan Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
Goodbye Sudden Moodswings: Hello Stability, Peace & Life Part 1
Goodbye Sudden Moodswings: Hello Stability, Peace & Life
“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt
Are you one of two million American adults who feel as though you are on an emotional rollercoaster and wish you could stop the ride, but are at a loss as to how to do that? Some of us are born with a chemical makeup that may need extra assistance in enabling us to live life with a greater sense of stability and peace.
Yes, you can feel good. You can even learn how to move from feelings of depression, sadness or intense anger to feelings of joy and peace, but in a more appropriately timed manner, rather than with suddenness that catches you by surprise!
The FIRST STEP: MAINTAIN THE HOPE THAT THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS AND LIFE WILL BE GOOD. Keep in mind that you are blessed to live in the 21st century in which science has developed new medications which have restored to millions a quality of life that would not have been possible a century ago.
The SECOND STEP: Recognize that you are a unique being, born with great potential and many gifts– and that all of this is absolutely perfect. Accept that this is one aspect of who you are – rather than pretending that this part of you belongs to someone else – because it does not! In fact, honor all aspects of who you are; own each with respect and admiration.
The THIRD STEP: Become aware of how your mood shifts affect you and your life. Become conscious of what triggers these shifts within you, and become even more aware of how you respond to them, including what you say to yourself when you notice you are shifting downward or upward and how you are behaving, as well as what you are feeling while you are shifting. This beginning phase of accepting and taking responsibility for becoming more conscious of what is taking place within you in response to your environment is a KEY STEP.
A FOURTH STEP and key piece of this equation: Visit your family doctor, just as you would with any physical issue which disturbs your daily quality of life. Let him or her know what you are experiencing, noticing, and becoming conscious of and how this is interfering with your quality of life.
A FIFTH STEP: Your Ask your doctor to recommend a psychiatrist for you to see – and not because you are crazy!!! But because you are lucky enough to live in a time when we have medications available that can restore a healthy chemical balance to your life. Remember, you are an amazing being who has much to do during this lifetime and, in order to do it, it is helpful to have a re-stabilization of your mood or a balancing of your chemicals.
Now, here’s the thing: If you do not feel comfortable with your psychiatrist, find another with whom you do feel comfortable. This is the doctor who will be suggesting medications for you to try until you find the right medication or combination of medications which can help you stabilize your mood. And be sure to be patient with this process. It usually takes time to determine just the right amounts of the medications that work best for you.
TO BE CONTINUED…Part 2
Susan Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
Welcome To Our Blog, LOVE TO FEEL GOOD!
Whether you are a mom, senior citizen, student in high school, college or graduate school, a CEO, teacher, physician, lawyer, printer, or a member of any occupation, the intention behind the creation of this blog is that you have a place to come which feels very comfortable, almost like a home away from home, and where I can offer you food for your soul.
LOVE TO FEEL GOOD is also intended to be a place where we can share with one another thoughts centering on how to help you, and one another, to really be able to “LOVE TO FEEL GOOD.” Expect this to be a wonderful and joyful give and take process of growth and expansion. I am extremely excited about sharing this time with each of you.
LET ME BRIEFLY INTRODUCE MYSELF!
My name is Susan Barbara Apollon and I am an intuitive psychologist in practice for more than 20 years and a researcher of Mind, Consciousness, Energy, Healing, Intuition, Prayer and Life After Life. I am a Master of Reiki, Integrated Energy Therapy and have certification in Reconnective Healing, as well. I have studied other energy modalities and have been a student of intuition for more than a decade.
I am also a wife, married to my husband for more than 42 years, with two very special and wonderful adult children.
The last third of my life has been devoted to helping others heal from grief, trauma and illness, via my clinical practice and my writing, which includes Touched by the Extraordinary and, soon, Intuition is Easy and Fun, which is coauthored with Yanni Maniates. My work is, essentially, about providing all of us with empowerment, hope and comfort.
HOW THIS BLOG CAME TO BE…
LOVE TO FEEL GOOD has been born out of an online free class I first presented in January, 2008, entitled, YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL – HERE’S HOW! (at www.freetelemessages.com) During the interactive period of the class, I suddenly felt it would be excellent for all of us, including those who chose to participate in the class, myself and others who are yet to come on board, to have a blog where like-minded souls could come and share thoughts, inspirations, feelings, what has been tried and worked (or not) and recommendations.
When our first free teleclass, YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL – HERE’S HOW had ended, I received positive feedback from participants who expressed that the time we spent together did contribute to feeling an improvement in their mood. This was, in part, due to the super ideas and contributions of those on the call. We were being motivated and inspired by one another’s words and suggestions. The response to the possibility of a blog, which I had mentioned when I thought of the idea, was so positive that I felt it could serve all of us.
ABOUT “FEELING GOOD”…
I wonder, how many of you love to receive articles, poems and stories from friends and family which touch your heart – and help you feel really good – and which come at especially trying and difficult times in your life? Most of us do appreciate words of wisdom which inspire, motivate and provide us with needed hope – whether we are having a tough day or not. Furthermore, no matter what age we may be, “feeling good” is what each of us desires from the time we awake to the time we retire for the day.
So, what is “feeling good,” you may be wondering. Simply put, feeling good means we are at peace within; we are content; we are feeling some joy, happiness and/or satisfaction. Are you aware that feeling good is your birthright? You came into this lifetime with the intention of ultimately doing the work of balancing the energy of your life and your soul and creating your birthright of feeling good.
THE PLAN….
In the days, weeks and months ahead, my intention is to bring you some of the knowledge, wisdom and ideas I have gained from more than two decades of research, clinical practice and life experience, to enable you to live your life from a “Feel-Good” place. And, I am looking forward to your sharing your thoughts, feelings, extraordinary life events and exquisite, uplifting energy, so that we all experience an improved quality of life.
This is also going to be a place where we can share quotes that are so meaningful that they are heartwarming, as well as poems and stories that touch us deeply. Additionally, this is going to be where we can recommend to one another resources which have the power to enable us to “feel good.”
Each of you is pure energy, given that everything in the universe is energy and vibrates. However, when you feel that “all is well with the world,” you are, on some level, experiencing a higher energy, closer to that of gratitude and love. My hope is that I can help you be more conscious of ways which will elevate your energy and which will enable you to experience more love, joy and peace. It is so much easier that most of you may realize.
Until we meet again, know that each of you is very special – and that I feel honored to be making this connection with you. May you each be blessed with all that you need to “feel good.”
Blessings of Warmth, Light and Love,
Susan BarbaraApollon
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