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The Healing Power Of Opening To The Extraordinary
“The secret is to go with the mystery… When the situation does not make sense,, a larger overall message may appear if you let it unfold naturally.” Judith Orloff, MD
So many of us like to think that mind, body and spirit are separate entities; truthfully, as a psychologist who works with the ill and the dying, I now recognize that experiencing any kind of physical distress impacts you emotionally, mentally and spiritually. More than two decades of working with patients has shown me that mind, body and spirit are one. Furthermore, you can enable healing on all three levels by choosing to allow the extraordinary into your life.
Before going further, let us first define the word extraordinary. According to the Thorndike-Barnhart Dictionary (Random House), extraordinary is “beyond what is usual, regular or ordinary” and “exceptional to a high degree and remarkable.”
Next, we need to define heal and healing. According to the dictionary, heal is “to make whole, sound, or well; bring back to health; cure.” Healing is “that which heals or cures” as well as “getting well” and “the act of a person or thing that heals.”
Let’s put this together. You are extraordinary (meaning you are exceptional and remarkable); you were born extraordinary, though most of us tend to forget who we are, including the power with which we were born, and why we are here. Forgetting or disconnecting from your natural, inherent power leads to being off balance and feeling incomplete, not whole or well and in need of healing ( to be made whole and balanced).
By permitting yourself to be open to such remarkable and unusual experiences, you are connecting not only with your own wisdom, but with that of the Universe, and, in so doing, you are aligning with the powers of your own inherent intuitive knowing and your own Consciousness or Mind. This means that you can reclaim the power with which you were born, a power which may be forgotten but which is familiar to your whole being and which enables healing (ie .or the restoration of balance, harmony and wholeness) to occur.
For example, consider the following synchronicity: You are concerned about some health issue and intuitively feel there may be a health issue which you feel may need to be checked out. You then happen to be in a library or bookstore when a book falls off the shelf. As you pick it up, you notice that the page to which it opened is one which discusses the very matter about which you have concerns.
It behooves you at this point to consider the possibility of an alignment of your intuitive wisdom with the wisdom of your Higher Power or that of the Universe. This might then lead you to then considering the possibility that the extraordinary might help speed your healing– if you choose to listen to the message. On some level, you (i.e. the power of your thoughts and your intentions) contributed to that book falling from the shelf into your path.
Keep in mind that among your blessings is the fact that you live in an age in which you have scientific and technological advances providing you with powerful medicines and a variety of other kinds of healing aids or support. Yet, even with such strength coming from your physical world, it is your natural-born resources, historically used by shamans and healers, which enable true healing to occur; that is healing at your core and a healing which permeates every aspect of you, including your mind or consciousness, your physical body and your spirit or soul.(TO BE CONTINUED)
Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
©Copyright 2008 Susan Barbara Apollon
Lessons Learned From Grief And Trauma (Part 3)
8. The pain of a loss or trauma is locked into your cells. Healing requires that you balance your pain with thoughts of a lighter energy. Give yourself permission to focus on what makes you laugh, even if you do not feel like laughing! Balance your pain with time to watch a comedy or time to meet and be with friends (push yourself if you feel you can’t or don’t want to do this). By doing this, you are helping you immune system recover and be able to better protect you from the aftermath of your loss or trauma.
9. With grief and trauma, often come an outpouring of expressions of care, compassion, kindness, love, and prayers. Allow yourself to be deeply touched by such a showering of love. This can forever transform you so that you become more aware of the choice you can make to be equally caring, loving and kind. You may find that you are becoming aware, also, of the power of your own love, appreciation and gratitude for your blessings. Take time to express your heartfelt thanks. This, too, expedites your healing process.
For example, patients and friends have frequently shared with me how moved they are when they are ill and another close and dear friend who just sustained the loss of a loved one calls to see how they are doing. When you step out of your own pain and are present for another in pain, you heal yourself and contribute to the healing of others.
“We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” Carlos Castaneda
Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
©Copyright 2008 Susan Barbara Apollon
See Part 1 of Life Lessons Learned In Healing From Grief And Trauma
Life Lessons Learned In Healing From Grief And Trauma – Part 2
When we come to the last moment of this lifetime and look back, the only thing that’s going to matter is ‘What was the quality of our love?’” Richard Bach
2. Be open to changing your perspective! The experience of grief and trauma can contribute to your changing your thinking about what is truly important in life. For example, following the occurrence of a significant tragedy or loss, you may find yourself amazed at the decreased importance and attention you give to what were formerly valued items, perhaps a fancy car, china or clothing, or to participation in previously favored activities, such as sports, your job, traveling or entertainment.
3. Recognize the importance of Love in your life’s journey. You may even learn from your pain and suffering that the only thing that really matters is the person you love and your loving relationship with this individual. My husband taught me this years before we married (some 44 years ago!). Walking along a boating dock, the little bag I held that contained his rings and watch slipped from my hands, went through the boards and into the water, never to be seen again. I cried profusely, feeling great guilt, and will always remember his words: “Don’t worry, Susan. The only thing that matters is you. I can replace the jewelry; I can’t replace you.” His love touched, healed and soothed my pain of disappointing him!
4. In dealing with the pain of a tragedy, loss or grief, healing occurs as you discover that you are much stronger than you thought you were. Suddenly, being forced into roles that your ill or deceased loved ones once held, be it holding down a full-time job, paying the bills, maintaining your home or car, or creating your social life, you may find that you are now taking responsibility for areas of your life that you previously felt you were unable to handle.
5. With your new- found sense of personal strength, you may learn that you are more powerful than you had thought, more capable and more resilient. This new awareness may enhance your self-esteem, self-confidence and your belief in yourself. All of these are gifts because they come at a time when you are left feeling powerless, frightened and worried about your ability to survive. Tragedy often validates your ability to be a survivor, one who can handle whatever curve ball may come your way. My patients have repeatedly shared their awareness with me of how much braver and more courageous they feel they are, having proved to themselves they can survive without their loved ones
6. You learn that there are questions that better serve you than asking “Why did this happen?”, a normal response to such events. By asking “What is this teaching me?” and “What is the lesson I need to learn here?”, you find that you have an enhanced ability to cope with such stressful experiences. For example, such questions often move us from perceiving ourselves as victims to realizing that we have the resources to deal with such challenges. They also move us along in our having a sense of purpose, despite our angst and pain.
7. View the events as challenges or opportunities to learn valuable life lessons; patience, courage, compassion or forgiveness. Asking the previously mentioned questions helps you become more conscious of which life lessons you are here to learn. This, in turn, again, leads to a stronger sense of connection with your own Higher Power or God, as well as a change in your perspective about the meaning of such losses and traumas. Allow your perspective to become broader, inviting in more wonderful possibilities about life, its purpose and whether life continues in a somewhat different form; allow this change in perspective to soothe and heal the pain of your broken heart. (TO BE CONTINUED)
Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
©Copyright 2008 Susan Barbara Apollon
Life Lessons Learned In Healing From Grief And Trauma – Part 1
Recently, our good friends’ son, a young man we watched grow up, died in a freak accident and another dear friend was hospitalized with septicemia and was suddenly fighting for her life. My patients, friends and family can testify to the quirkiness of life – one minute all is well and the next, your life is totally upside down. Each time you experience a loss or trauma, you are reminded that life is a precious gift. This awareness is the first lesson learned in dealing with any type of loss or tragedy.
However, when difficult situations with others arise, you often fail to remember that you have a choice as to how to view the meaning of the loss or trauma. Frequently, tragedies, losses (of any kind, including loved ones, home, health, job or dreams) and life-threatening events are viewed from the negative perspective. While this is understandably part of the initial grieving process, you slow down your healing by spending needed energy viewing the situation as negative rather than positive in the months and years that follow the crisis.
Why is this? Perhaps, it is the fear that what has happened to another can happen again, and, perhaps, it is because you focus on the experience as a loss and, therefore, you spend more energy dwelling on the pain of separation from your loved one or anything you particularly value. The nature of human beings is that we tend to obsess more about our worries, anxieties, losses and negative life events than we do about those that are positive, joyful and which we may consider to be our blessings.
The truth is that the way you perceive a situation powerfully influences the healing of your body, mind and spirit. Remember that how you perceive a situation is a choice. How you choose to view or think about your situation dete rmines the path your healing will take.
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”…Albert Einstein
LIFE LESSONS LEARNED FROM GRIEF AND TRAUMA
I offer you the following suggestions to assist you in healing from grief and trauma. They are based on the lessons learned by my own patients.
1. Give yourself permission to truly feel your pain. Healing from trauma and grief does take time. It is an experience that affects every aspect of you, including your identity, thoughts, feelings, body and spirit. No matter how you try, your Higher Self will demand that you do the work of grief. Trying to escape the pain does not serve you. Healing is expedited when you do the best you can to express it, feel it and let it go. (CONTINUED)
Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
©Copyright 2008 Susan Barbara Apollon
Tips For Helping The Grieving, The Ill And Ourselves! -Part 2
“When it comes to the last moment of this lifetime, and we look back across it, the only thing that’s going to matter is, ‘What was the quality of our love?’” Richard Bach
If, at all possible, take a meal to your friend or loved one or go out for a meal. Changing scenery is especially helpful for those who are grieving or who have not been well. Set aside a time for the two of you to get together, enabling him or her to have something special to which you both can look forward. Again, be sure to attend their feelings but balance the content with that which can shift the focus onto something other than their pain or illness..
Also, if your friend or loved one needs to be resting or lying quietly, you can be of assistance and help him or her by learning to use your breath. By consciously breathing slowly and deeply, without words, and just by sitting near the individual, you can help him or her align with your intentional relaxed breathing, causing him or her to be more at peace. Words are not always necessary. This is something that is especially nice for those who are very ill either at home or in the hospital or a hospice situation.
Keep in mind that being truly present is more about your being with someone as though this person is an extension of you and you are extending pure loving energy to this part of you. Presence is about love. Visualize your heart filling with loving energy and then visualize the energy going from your heart to the heart of your friend or loved one. This can be a powerful healing gift.
Whether you are near of far from your loved one or family member, always hold them in your heart with loving intentions. This serves their energy and yours.
Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
©Copyright 2008 Susan Barbara Apollon
Tips For Helping The Grieving, The Ill And Ourselves! -Part 1
“It does not matter what you do in life; the only thing that matters is that you do what you do with love.” Elisabeth Kubler Ross
Life is deliciously filled with a mixture of joy and sorrow. At times, it feels uncomfortably weighted with more pain as a result of learning that others, including friends and family, are dealing with illness, as well as issues involving death, dying trauma and grief. At such times, we are left feeling sad, energetically very low and wondering how we are going to handle being available for everyone who needs us.
Whether you are a young mom or dad with several children or a busy working man or woman with a full time job, when you learn of a friend or loved one who has died or who is very ill, you want to learn how to be present and available, stay uplifted, and yet protect and keep your own energy from falling to dangerous levels.
Remember that what you focus on determines how you feel and how you feel determines your level of energy. So be clear about your intention regarding assisting others in need of your help. Be fully present in your attention when you call to see how they are doing and to offer your services. In other words, while speaking with them, be there with everything you have got. When not with them, place your focus on what feels better.
One suggestion: Take a few moments to sit and breathe deeply, enabling you to be at peace and feel truly relaxed before you pick up the phone to call your friend or loved one, or to actually go and be with him or her either at home or in the hospital. While visiting, be sure to be completely present. Listen attentively to their concerns and their feelings, without trying to deny them or make light of them.
However, you can help by then asking your friend or loved one about other family members, their activities and various other subjects such as vacation plans, how their children are doing in both school and in their sports activities, as well as their holiday plans – all of which are lighter and can help shift the focus to something that feels genuinely better and more uplifting.
Take time to balance the heavy feelings dealing with sadness, pain and/or loss with humor, a necessary antidote. The immune system needs the energetic vibration of humor to produce needed chemicals to help it work effectively. Be sure to bring a joke or humorous story, being sure it is appropriate, because humor expedites healing within the cells of the body. How about a video, DVD or audio to life their spirits and bring a smile or laugh or two to them? (It is good for you, as well!) CONTINUED…
Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
Helping Those Who Cannot Help Themselves: The Healing Power of Prayer, Part 2
“Love, like hope, heals. It is the very foundation of prayer. If we allow hope to mingle with love, the “problem of false hope” will evaporate.” Larry Dossey, MD
The Spindrift Studies conducted in Salem, Oregon, beginning in 1975, were among the first, in a laboratory setting, to validate that prayer works. Since then, prominent researchers including Elizabeth Targ, MD, in 1999, and psychologist, Bernie Grad of Montreal’s McGill University, have conducted powerful research concerning the impact of mind on mind and mind on matter.
Elizabeth Targ, Ph.D. conducted studies of the effects of prayer on AIDS patients, showing the positive, stunning impact of those who had been prayed for versus those who had not. This research scientifically demonstrated the power of healing intentions. Grad was the first to show that our thoughts and intentions have the power to influence other living things. Larry Dossey, MD, conducted his own research regarding prayer which he writes about in Healing Words and Prayer is Good Medicine, as well as Be Careful What You Pray For.
The bottom line here is that though we cannot prove the existence of God, we have been able to scientifically demonstrate the effect of distant healing intentions and prayer on other forms of life. This is why I pray for my patients and family on a daily basis.
What deeply moved and inspired me was the information channeled to two medical psychologists at a well known New York university which eventually came to be known as A Course in Miracles. Principle #11 of the Course states, “Prayer is the medium of miracles…Through prayer, love is received, and, through miracles, love is expressed.” I have never forgotten these words – and hope that you, too, will forever remember them.
Please, take five to ten minutes each morning and/or evening to light a candle and, then, offer prayers for those who are trapped beneath crushed fallen buildings, those who no longer have a home of their own, and those who are suffering because they have lost those they love. Ask the Higher Power in which you believe that these souls, who include children, adults and animals, be blessed with whatever they need for their highest good.
Your prayerful intentions carry great healing power.. You may even consider asking that those who are not likely to be found and who are slowly dying, be taken sooner than later, so that they will be freed from their indescribable pain. Pray for compassion and for love; pray from your heart. Your sincere, authentic, compassionate healing intentions will be known to and experienced by every one of your own cells – and you, too, will experience healing.
Susan Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
Welcome To Our Blog, LOVE TO FEEL GOOD!
Whether you are a mom, senior citizen, student in high school, college or graduate school, a CEO, teacher, physician, lawyer, printer, or a member of any occupation, the intention behind the creation of this blog is that you have a place to come which feels very comfortable, almost like a home away from home, and where I can offer you food for your soul.
LOVE TO FEEL GOOD is also intended to be a place where we can share with one another thoughts centering on how to help you, and one another, to really be able to “LOVE TO FEEL GOOD.” Expect this to be a wonderful and joyful give and take process of growth and expansion. I am extremely excited about sharing this time with each of you.
LET ME BRIEFLY INTRODUCE MYSELF!
My name is Susan Barbara Apollon and I am an intuitive psychologist in practice for more than 20 years and a researcher of Mind, Consciousness, Energy, Healing, Intuition, Prayer and Life After Life. I am a Master of Reiki, Integrated Energy Therapy and have certification in Reconnective Healing, as well. I have studied other energy modalities and have been a student of intuition for more than a decade.
I am also a wife, married to my husband for more than 42 years, with two very special and wonderful adult children.
The last third of my life has been devoted to helping others heal from grief, trauma and illness, via my clinical practice and my writing, which includes Touched by the Extraordinary and, soon, Intuition is Easy and Fun, which is coauthored with Yanni Maniates. My work is, essentially, about providing all of us with empowerment, hope and comfort.
HOW THIS BLOG CAME TO BE…
LOVE TO FEEL GOOD has been born out of an online free class I first presented in January, 2008, entitled, YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL – HERE’S HOW! (at www.freetelemessages.com) During the interactive period of the class, I suddenly felt it would be excellent for all of us, including those who chose to participate in the class, myself and others who are yet to come on board, to have a blog where like-minded souls could come and share thoughts, inspirations, feelings, what has been tried and worked (or not) and recommendations.
When our first free teleclass, YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL – HERE’S HOW had ended, I received positive feedback from participants who expressed that the time we spent together did contribute to feeling an improvement in their mood. This was, in part, due to the super ideas and contributions of those on the call. We were being motivated and inspired by one another’s words and suggestions. The response to the possibility of a blog, which I had mentioned when I thought of the idea, was so positive that I felt it could serve all of us.
ABOUT “FEELING GOOD”…
I wonder, how many of you love to receive articles, poems and stories from friends and family which touch your heart – and help you feel really good – and which come at especially trying and difficult times in your life? Most of us do appreciate words of wisdom which inspire, motivate and provide us with needed hope – whether we are having a tough day or not. Furthermore, no matter what age we may be, “feeling good” is what each of us desires from the time we awake to the time we retire for the day.
So, what is “feeling good,” you may be wondering. Simply put, feeling good means we are at peace within; we are content; we are feeling some joy, happiness and/or satisfaction. Are you aware that feeling good is your birthright? You came into this lifetime with the intention of ultimately doing the work of balancing the energy of your life and your soul and creating your birthright of feeling good.
THE PLAN….
In the days, weeks and months ahead, my intention is to bring you some of the knowledge, wisdom and ideas I have gained from more than two decades of research, clinical practice and life experience, to enable you to live your life from a “Feel-Good” place. And, I am looking forward to your sharing your thoughts, feelings, extraordinary life events and exquisite, uplifting energy, so that we all experience an improved quality of life.
This is also going to be a place where we can share quotes that are so meaningful that they are heartwarming, as well as poems and stories that touch us deeply. Additionally, this is going to be where we can recommend to one another resources which have the power to enable us to “feel good.”
Each of you is pure energy, given that everything in the universe is energy and vibrates. However, when you feel that “all is well with the world,” you are, on some level, experiencing a higher energy, closer to that of gratitude and love. My hope is that I can help you be more conscious of ways which will elevate your energy and which will enable you to experience more love, joy and peace. It is so much easier that most of you may realize.
Until we meet again, know that each of you is very special – and that I feel honored to be making this connection with you. May you each be blessed with all that you need to “feel good.”
Blessings of Warmth, Light and Love,
Susan BarbaraApollon
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