The Healing Power Of Loving Relationships
How many times have you felt low, called a friend or family member and soon found yourself laughing, smiling and feeling so much better? Your health and the quality of your life are tied to the quality of your relationships (which may include your pets!) and your community of support. What is it that your relationships have that has the ability to enable healing to occur?
To answer this question, I share with you beliefs of one of my special mentors, Dr. Jeanne Achterberg, a psychologist and author known for her outstanding research dealing with imagery, healing, prayer, intention and her work with those who are diagnosed with life-threatening illnesses. In her newest work, her audiobook, Intentional Healing (available though Sounds True), which I highly recommend, she has described the five bonds of relationships which expedite healing. The essence of these bonds has been the heart of my work as a psychologist and a healer. They are the following:
The first of these bonds is the invisible energetic expression of Consciousness which includes distant healing, prayer, intentions and Mind. Einstein and his fellow physicists called these invisible ties “nonlocal mind” and emphasized their belief that we are all connected on some level. Thus, if I care for and pray for you – with the intention of healing, you will be impacted physiologically – and so will I! Loving intention establishes real ties between us. Scientific research has established this.
The second of these healing bonds is the power of Touch. Within relationships, you seek and need connection with one another through touch. Touch can be a big hug or kiss, a tap on the shoulder, cuddling, embracing, making love or petting your special pet, be it your dog, cat, horse or any other precious pet. Keep in mind that age does not slow or diminish the healing power of touch; indeed, it increases the need for touch. .
Why is touch so important? The healing power of touch is that it affirms you are a being with value and you are lovable. This is what you especially need to experience when you are diagnosed with a life-threatening illness and feel so isolated and apart from the world. If you are a caretaker, you, too, are in need of warm, compassionate and loving touch.
The third bond is that of Presence. Just your loving presence has the power to heal. You are pure energy and capable of feeling the energy of others. When you choose to be a loving presence, you are choosing to be unconditional Love, which conveys Truth and Love.
In Touched by the Extraordinary, you can read the story of physician Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, who hired the hospital cleaning attendant to be her special assistant. Why? Because this beautiful soul, who had traveled the difficult path of tragically losing her own baby while waiting for doctors in an emergency room, brought, as a loving presence, peace to Kubler-Ross’s patients who were dying. Having been personally affected and changed by the loss of her baby, this woman had the gift of being able to sooth and comfort those who were close to death.
For years I have been advocating the fourth bond described by Achterberg as the bond of a “Soul to Soul” relationship. As you live your life, no matter who you are, your goal should be relating to others at the soul level, rather than in the formal traditional roles, such as doctor-patient, parent-child and teacher-student. The “soul to soul” level is one that affirms your awareness of -and connection with- the higher part of one another, that part which is connected to the Source of each of you. When you begin to be conscious of being connected to one another as souls, love in the form of compassion, kindness and caring, comes so much more naturally.
Finally, the last bond, Love, is one which greatly contributes to your well-being. The fact that you know you are loved by another and that this love is something which is forever, conveys an eternal sense of support. Recent scientific research studies have shown that when a relationship is perceived as loving and supportive, there is a definite correlation with improved health, including fewer heart attacks and deaths, relative to the rest of the population.
The bottom-line message here is that you expedite your own healing when you choose to live your life within the embrace of a loving, caring and compassionate community of family and friends.
Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
©Copyright 2008 Susan Barbara Apollon
Lessons Learned From Grief And Trauma (Part 3)
8. The pain of a loss or trauma is locked into your cells. Healing requires that you balance your pain with thoughts of a lighter energy. Give yourself permission to focus on what makes you laugh, even if you do not feel like laughing! Balance your pain with time to watch a comedy or time to meet and be with friends (push yourself if you feel you can’t or don’t want to do this). By doing this, you are helping you immune system recover and be able to better protect you from the aftermath of your loss or trauma.
9. With grief and trauma, often come an outpouring of expressions of care, compassion, kindness, love, and prayers. Allow yourself to be deeply touched by such a showering of love. This can forever transform you so that you become more aware of the choice you can make to be equally caring, loving and kind. You may find that you are becoming aware, also, of the power of your own love, appreciation and gratitude for your blessings. Take time to express your heartfelt thanks. This, too, expedites your healing process.
For example, patients and friends have frequently shared with me how moved they are when they are ill and another close and dear friend who just sustained the loss of a loved one calls to see how they are doing. When you step out of your own pain and are present for another in pain, you heal yourself and contribute to the healing of others.
“We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” Carlos Castaneda
Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
©Copyright 2008 Susan Barbara Apollon
See Part 1 of Life Lessons Learned In Healing From Grief And Trauma
A Gift of Intuition
Lisa, a delightful and interesting woman who had called my office to offer complements regarding Touched by the Extraordinary, shared the following true story with me.
She explained that when she had lived in Yardley, PA, more than a decade before, she recalled a very nice family that lived across the street from her.. According to Lisa, the parents had two sons, one of whom had Leukemia and who had eventually died. Lisa was deeply affected by this and empathetically felt the family’s pain.
Feeling great compassion for the parents, Lisa was drawn to their situation. On her daily walks, she would often find herself focusing on their home, wondering how they were managing. After the death of the one son, at the time of the Jewish holiday, Passover, Lisa’s attention was caught by something unusual.
It was the evening of the first of the two Seders that are a part of the Passover tradition. Lisa, in her mind’s eye, had seen a young man enter the house, along with an elderly gentleman. She described the elderly man as portly and wearing a very, very crumbled suit, as though it had been intentionally crumbled.
Louise said that when she met Ann, a few days after the first Seder, she asked how things had gone with her company. Ann was surprised by Lisa’s question and replied that they had not had visitors for the holiday. Lisa quickly noted what she had seen; when finished with her description of the older man, Ann’s jaw dropped in astonishment.
“That is my father, this person you describe,” Ann said with certainty. She continued: “ He was born in France and he died many years ago. How could you have known this? I never discussed it with you.” Lisa explained that she had, indeed, seen the two individuals enter the house. However, she had seen them in her mind’s eye, rather than with her physical eyes. Ann was truly amazed, though not surprised
In fact, Ann told Lisa that she had actually felt the presence of others at the Seder table. This gift was the validation of her sense that it had been her son and her father who were present and sharing the holiday with them. This touched and comforted her so very much.
When I questioned Lisa about her ability to do this, she replied that it only happens when she feels a genuine sense of affection for the individual. In other words, your intuition is rooted in a foundation of compassionate love; it is the power of love that reinforces and enhances your intuitive powers.
It all starts with love! And, we are all capable of knowing and sensing what Lisa experienced. It takes practice and the intent to relax, go into the silent stillness deep within you, stay in the Now, fill your heart with love and focus this on another being with the intention of receiving whatever you need to receive on their behalf. Take time to play with this and before you know it, you will be seeing with your mind’s eye, just as Lisa does.
Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
Goodbye Sudden Moodswings: Hello Stability, Peace & Life, Part 2
“We must make our homes centers of compassion and forgiveness.” Mother Theresa
The SIXTH STEP : Ask for names of excellent psychologists or social workers with whom you can meet. Why talk? Well, yes, it is good to give expression to your feelings. But, there is more. The value of talking with someone you trust and with whom you are comfortable is that you get to reclaim your power; that is, the power with which you were born.
The SEVENTH STEP: TALK AND LISTEN. In talk therapy, you discover many aspects of yourself that contribute to your feeling of a connection with a long lost friend. But, the additional value of talking to a psychotherapist is that you gain clarity as to what triggers cause you to suddenly shift your mood, as well as a variety of coping devices with which you were born and which you can employ at any time to help you regain a sense of control of your life. You also recognize that you have the power to release and replace the old taped messages from childhood that you have been playing unconsciously.
The EIGHTH STEP …Take time to become conscious of and to actively give thanks for all your blessings. Do this frequently throughout the day, taking nothing for granted. But, be sure to do this from your heart and not your head. Write them and say them aloud and you will feel better!
The NINTH STEP: Remember to harness the gift of your breath. As you take a few minutes throughout the day to focus on following your breath in and out, watching it carry peace and healing into cells in every part of you, while releasing all negativity, you release chemicals in your brain which contribute to your feeling more peaceful and relaxed.
The TENTH STEP: Acknowledge and release past grievances that are holding you back from healing; forgive yourself and others; stay in the Now. Say I forgive me for… and I forgive … for …. When you intentionally decide to release and surrender old hurts, pain and unresolved issues – for your sake and not for the other, you move into the Now where there is only peace.
The ELEVENTH STEP: Be compassionate, loving and kind to yourself and to others. SPEAK KINDLY TO YOURSELF AND TO OTHERS. Words can hurt deeply!
The TWELFTH STEP: Find and follow your passion. Do what makes you happy.
The THIRTEENTH STEP: Pray, say Help me, please, to whomever your Higher Power may be. Help is always available but not often visible.
The FOURTEENTH STEP: See yourself as a VICTOR rather than a victim; see yourself walking through a tunnel and into the Light which is visible at the other end.
The FIFTEENTH STEP: Affirm to yourself frequently: I am getting through this, one moment at a time. I can manage this one minute at a time. I intend to be here for wonderful things and to have a good life. I am loved and I have hope.
The SIXTEENTH STEP: REMEMBER YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHAT OTHERS THINK, ONLY OVER YOURSELF! If someone uses you as a scapegoat for their own pain, do not take personally their words. It may be about them!
The SEVENTEENTH STEP: DO THE BEST YOU CAN!
Finally, ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE LESSONS IN EACH MOMENT of your experience, as this will enable you to see your experience from the Higher Part of your Self, the part that recognizes just how very powerful you are.
Susan Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
Goodbye Sudden Moodswings: Hello Stability, Peace & Life Part 1
Helping Those Who Cannot Help Themselves: The Healing Power of Prayer, Part 2
“Love, like hope, heals. It is the very foundation of prayer. If we allow hope to mingle with love, the “problem of false hope” will evaporate.” Larry Dossey, MD
The Spindrift Studies conducted in Salem, Oregon, beginning in 1975, were among the first, in a laboratory setting, to validate that prayer works. Since then, prominent researchers including Elizabeth Targ, MD, in 1999, and psychologist, Bernie Grad of Montreal’s McGill University, have conducted powerful research concerning the impact of mind on mind and mind on matter.
Elizabeth Targ, Ph.D. conducted studies of the effects of prayer on AIDS patients, showing the positive, stunning impact of those who had been prayed for versus those who had not. This research scientifically demonstrated the power of healing intentions. Grad was the first to show that our thoughts and intentions have the power to influence other living things. Larry Dossey, MD, conducted his own research regarding prayer which he writes about in Healing Words and Prayer is Good Medicine, as well as Be Careful What You Pray For.
The bottom line here is that though we cannot prove the existence of God, we have been able to scientifically demonstrate the effect of distant healing intentions and prayer on other forms of life. This is why I pray for my patients and family on a daily basis.
What deeply moved and inspired me was the information channeled to two medical psychologists at a well known New York university which eventually came to be known as A Course in Miracles. Principle #11 of the Course states, “Prayer is the medium of miracles…Through prayer, love is received, and, through miracles, love is expressed.” I have never forgotten these words – and hope that you, too, will forever remember them.
Please, take five to ten minutes each morning and/or evening to light a candle and, then, offer prayers for those who are trapped beneath crushed fallen buildings, those who no longer have a home of their own, and those who are suffering because they have lost those they love. Ask the Higher Power in which you believe that these souls, who include children, adults and animals, be blessed with whatever they need for their highest good.
Your prayerful intentions carry great healing power.. You may even consider asking that those who are not likely to be found and who are slowly dying, be taken sooner than later, so that they will be freed from their indescribable pain. Pray for compassion and for love; pray from your heart. Your sincere, authentic, compassionate healing intentions will be known to and experienced by every one of your own cells – and you, too, will experience healing.
Susan Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
Helping Those Who Can Not Help Themeselves: The Healing Power of Prayer
“Should you pray? If you need to ask, you’ve probably begun.” Larry Dossey, MD
One of the most powerful ways we can live our lives with a deep sense of satisfaction and peace is to give purely, via prayer, from our heart, to individuals who are in dire need of our assistance, including those who are dealing with grief, trauma and loss.
Within recent weeks and months, we have learned of the loss of many thousands of people in Myanmar, due to massive storm and flooding this area has experienced. In China, thousands have lost their lives due to a horrific earthquake. Getting help to these individuals who are trapped, injured, lost and traumatized has been almost impossible, especially for those in the area of Myanmar.
Additionally, many thousands of people in the United States are undergoing horrific losses as raging flood waters have washed away their homes and flooded major cities in the Midwestern part of the United States, causing people to have neither homes, schools or businesses. This kind of devastation on such a large scale has not ever before been witnessed or experienced by American citizens in modern times. – other than 9/11.
Despite the efforts of the Red Cross and others throughout the world, people in other countries are not receiving assistance and thousands of people of all ages are dying. In the United States, the Red Cross and others are doing their best to assist the large numbers of people who are faced with having nowhere to go. You can do something, something very powerful to help these people. You can pray.
I have been researching Mind and Consciousness for many years, including research on prayer and healing. According to a group of quantum physicists, including Albert Einstein, everything in the Universe is energy and vibrates; furthermore, love is one of the highest and most powerful healing energetic vibrations.
Additionally, according to Einstein and his colleagues, your mind has the capacity to connect with and even influence minds anywhere, across time and space. Prayer is the vehicle of the intention of sending love to those in need of such high healing energy.
Susan Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”
Welcome To Our Blog, LOVE TO FEEL GOOD!
Whether you are a mom, senior citizen, student in high school, college or graduate school, a CEO, teacher, physician, lawyer, printer, or a member of any occupation, the intention behind the creation of this blog is that you have a place to come which feels very comfortable, almost like a home away from home, and where I can offer you food for your soul.
LOVE TO FEEL GOOD is also intended to be a place where we can share with one another thoughts centering on how to help you, and one another, to really be able to “LOVE TO FEEL GOOD.” Expect this to be a wonderful and joyful give and take process of growth and expansion. I am extremely excited about sharing this time with each of you.
LET ME BRIEFLY INTRODUCE MYSELF!
My name is Susan Barbara Apollon and I am an intuitive psychologist in practice for more than 20 years and a researcher of Mind, Consciousness, Energy, Healing, Intuition, Prayer and Life After Life. I am a Master of Reiki, Integrated Energy Therapy and have certification in Reconnective Healing, as well. I have studied other energy modalities and have been a student of intuition for more than a decade.
I am also a wife, married to my husband for more than 42 years, with two very special and wonderful adult children.
The last third of my life has been devoted to helping others heal from grief, trauma and illness, via my clinical practice and my writing, which includes Touched by the Extraordinary and, soon, Intuition is Easy and Fun, which is coauthored with Yanni Maniates. My work is, essentially, about providing all of us with empowerment, hope and comfort.
HOW THIS BLOG CAME TO BE…
LOVE TO FEEL GOOD has been born out of an online free class I first presented in January, 2008, entitled, YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL – HERE’S HOW! (at www.freetelemessages.com) During the interactive period of the class, I suddenly felt it would be excellent for all of us, including those who chose to participate in the class, myself and others who are yet to come on board, to have a blog where like-minded souls could come and share thoughts, inspirations, feelings, what has been tried and worked (or not) and recommendations.
When our first free teleclass, YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL - HERE’S HOW had ended, I received positive feedback from participants who expressed that the time we spent together did contribute to feeling an improvement in their mood. This was, in part, due to the super ideas and contributions of those on the call. We were being motivated and inspired by one another’s words and suggestions. The response to the possibility of a blog, which I had mentioned when I thought of the idea, was so positive that I felt it could serve all of us.
ABOUT “FEELING GOOD”…
I wonder, how many of you love to receive articles, poems and stories from friends and family which touch your heart – and help you feel really good – and which come at especially trying and difficult times in your life? Most of us do appreciate words of wisdom which inspire, motivate and provide us with needed hope – whether we are having a tough day or not. Furthermore, no matter what age we may be, “feeling good” is what each of us desires from the time we awake to the time we retire for the day.
So, what is “feeling good,” you may be wondering. Simply put, feeling good means we are at peace within; we are content; we are feeling some joy, happiness and/or satisfaction. Are you aware that feeling good is your birthright? You came into this lifetime with the intention of ultimately doing the work of balancing the energy of your life and your soul and creating your birthright of feeling good.
THE PLAN….
In the days, weeks and months ahead, my intention is to bring you some of the knowledge, wisdom and ideas I have gained from more than two decades of research, clinical practice and life experience, to enable you to live your life from a “Feel-Good” place. And, I am looking forward to your sharing your thoughts, feelings, extraordinary life events and exquisite, uplifting energy, so that we all experience an improved quality of life.
This is also going to be a place where we can share quotes that are so meaningful that they are heartwarming, as well as poems and stories that touch us deeply. Additionally, this is going to be where we can recommend to one another resources which have the power to enable us to “feel good.”
Each of you is pure energy, given that everything in the universe is energy and vibrates. However, when you feel that “all is well with the world,” you are, on some level, experiencing a higher energy, closer to that of gratitude and love. My hope is that I can help you be more conscious of ways which will elevate your energy and which will enable you to experience more love, joy and peace. It is so much easier that most of you may realize.
Until we meet again, know that each of you is very special – and that I feel honored to be making this connection with you. May you each be blessed with all that you need to “feel good.”
Blessings of Warmth, Light and Love,
Susan BarbaraApollon