If, at all possible, take a meal to your friend or loved one or go out for a meal. Changing scenery is especially helpful for those who are grieving or who have not been well. Set aside a time for the two of you to get together, enabling him or her to have something special to which you both can look forward. Again, be sure to attend their feelings but balance the content with that which can shift the focus onto something other than their pain or illness..

Also, if your friend or loved one needs to be resting or lying quietly, you can be of assistance and help him or her by learning to use your breath. By consciously breathing slowly and deeply, without words, and just by sitting near the individual, you can help him or her align with your intentional relaxed breathing, causing him or her to be more at peace. Words are not always necessary. This is something that is especially nice for those who are very ill either at home or in the hospital or a hospice situation.

Keep in mind that being truly present is more about your being with someone as though this person is an extension of you and you are extending pure loving energy to this part of you. Presence is about love. Visualize your heart filling with loving energy and then visualize the energy going from your heart to the heart of your friend or loved one. This can be a powerful healing gift.

Whether you are near of far from your loved one or family member, always hold them in your heart with loving intentions. This serves their energy and yours.

Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”

©Copyright 2008 Susan Barbara Apollon

Life is deliciously filled with a mixture of joy and sorrow. At times, it feels uncomfortably weighted with more pain as a result of learning that others, including friends and family, are dealing with illness, as well as issues involving death, dying trauma and grief. At such times, we are left feeling sad, energetically very low and wondering how we are going to handle being available for everyone who needs us.

Whether you are a young mom or dad with several children or a busy working man or woman with a full time job, when you learn of a friend or loved one who has died or who is very ill, you want to learn how to be present and available, stay uplifted, and yet protect and keep your own energy from falling to dangerous levels.

Remember that what you focus on determines how you feel and how you feel determines your level of energy. So be clear about your intention regarding assisting others in need of your help. Be fully present in your attention when you call to see how they are doing and to offer your services. In other words, while speaking with them, be there with everything you have got. When not with them, place your focus on what feels better.

One suggestion: Take a few moments to sit and breathe deeply, enabling you to be at peace and feel truly relaxed before you pick up the phone to call your friend or loved one, or to actually go and be with him or her either at home or in the hospital. While visiting, be sure to be completely present. Listen attentively to their concerns and their feelings, without trying to deny them or make light of them.

However, you can help by then asking your friend or loved one about other family members, their activities and various other subjects such as vacation plans, how their children are doing in both school and in their sports activities, as well as their holiday plans – all of which are lighter and can help shift the focus to something that feels genuinely better and more uplifting.

Take time to balance the heavy feelings dealing with sadness, pain and/or loss with humor, a necessary antidote. The immune system needs the energetic vibration of humor to produce needed chemicals to help it work effectively. Be sure to bring a joke or humorous story, being sure it is appropriate, because humor expedites healing within the cells of the body. How about a video, DVD or audio to life their spirits and bring a smile or laugh or two to them? (It is good for you, as well!) CONTINUED…

Susan Barbara Apollon
Author of “Touched By The Extraordinary”